Best Laid Plans

I can't imagine I'm the only one who would view two weeks off work as an opportunity to accomplish big things.  Granted, I knew the two weeks would be punctuated by a good deal of time spent celebrating the holidays.  But still, I had plenty of time to clean house, organize closets and go through old boxes.  In general, the plan was to start the New Year O-R-G-A-N-I-Z-E-D. 

Now I have 4 days left with very little to show for the time passed. 

Oh I have definitely enjoyed myself.  I have had a number of lazy days in addition to days of celebration with family and friends.

But here I am, behind on the laundry (AS USUAL, anyone in my house would say), rooms and closets only minimally tidied and old boxes as packed up and disorganized as ever.

Well, 4 days is 4 days.  There is still hope.  I can still conquer this house and start the New Year organized.  If I'm nothing else, I'm optimistic!

Birthday Recap

Wow - what a day!  First, I am officially no longer 40, I am "in my 40's".  Um, gulp.  My mantra is "it beats the alternative".

I stayed up far too late the night before, sucked into Law & Order SVU.  I was definitely exhausted from many days strung together of Christmas, post-Christmas and 8 year old birthday mayhem.  This created an inertia so severe that extended TV watching seemed easier and wiser than the exertion it would take to get into PJ's, remove makeup and get into bed.

Therefore, waking at 9am, which would normally be sleeping in, meant only 6 hours of sleep.  I still had a lovely couple of hours of solitude, catching up online and drinking a pot of tea, before my kids woke up.  Unfortunately, the crazy roller coaster schedule I have had my kids on meant, even though they slept in, they woke up cranky and difficult.

Happily, I was leaving cranky behind!  Three of my favorite people in the world - my best friend, my sister and my mom organized an impromptu lunch outing to Good Girls Go to Paris - an amazing place that I have been dying to visit.  I left my kids in their PJ's with a simple request that "for my birthday" they tidy up their toys so I would be able to vaccum when I returned.

The lunch was both delightful and delicious!  I cannot recommend the restaurant highly enough.  I will certainly go back.  Since it is on the fringe of WSU's campus, probably more than I should!  As a matter of fact, I issue an open invitation to my WSU friends to accompany me as I sample my way through the menu. (or anyone else who wants to meet me there!)  And the company could not have been more perfect.  A slice of the day I would like to freeze in time.

Then we arrived home.  The simple request that they tidy?  Hmmmm.....  Not only was nothing tidied, the scene had digressed.  The children were still in PJ's and in much the same position as I had left them.

I blame the lack of sleep.  I lost it.  Full on drama queen tantrum.  "I rarely ask for anything....  Can't believe nothing was done.....  It's my birthday...."  Slamming doors included, tears plentiful, and embarrassingly all in front of my sister.  Not that I mind her seeing the warts, but hated to put a cramp in her visit.  Especially so near the end.

Soooooooo......  yelling, tears, door slam, lots of pouting.

Miraculously (and probably due in part to Eileen removing Natalie from the scene), my older two pulled it together and cleaned the living room and dining room (something I probably wouldn't have accomplished in the same amount of time).  While this occurred I pouted and took a very cleansing nap.  I woke up to my poor over-criticized husband having used his break to pick up a birthday cake and arrange take out chinese food (since he had to work until 9pm) for dinner.  Oh, and he also organized an impromptu small party with my family.  This all in the wake of a separate tantrum all for him.

So the evening ended with great Chinese, delicious ice cream cake,  watching Up with my parents, my kids, my sister, and eventually my husband and brother in law.  It also included a little wine and even champagne.

Although it may not have been a day that I am fully proud of, it seems a day that most accurately represents my daily life.  Therefore, perhaps it can be considered an excellent 41st birthday!

Systematic torture of a marshmallow mommy

I present to you the scene of the crime - the Mort Harris Recreation and Fitness Center on the campus of Wayne State University.  Looks harmless, doesn't it?  It even looks rather pleasant.  Ah, how easily we are fooled!

Folks - this is a torture chamber - trust me on this one!  Don't believe me?  Let me explain....

So I returned from San Antonio thinking perhaps it would be a good idea to get back into a workout routine.  I spent 4 days literally eating my way through San Antonio.  Guacamole made fresh at our table, mouth watering barbeque, prickly pear margarita.....mmmmm.....  But I digress.  You know how they say things are bigger in Texas?  Well, 5000 calories per day later, my rear end is most certainly bigger, thanks to Texas!  

So, inspired by extra junk in my trunk, I made an appointment to meet with a personal trainer.  I have never worked with a personal trainer before.  I work out at the gym, so that doesn't intimidate me, but have not dipped my toes in the personal training waters.

I meet with the PT - he seems harmless.  Obviously fit, but not in a bulky, muscle-popping way.  Poor guy has a horrible head cold, but he is persevering.  How hard can he be on me, right?

He asks what my goal is for our session.  Since I know he will tell me it is impossible to shrink my ass 2 sizes in one sitting, I opt for asking him to show me exercises I can do at home for the days I don't work out on my lunch hour.  Also known as lately - every day.

What possesses minimally fit people like me to try to appear like we are fit to people who actually are, in fact, fit?  As Mr. PT lead me through a series of seemingly low-level exercises and stretches, I focused on following them to the letter.  Or rather, to the muscle.  Burning thighs?  Screaming deltoids?  No problem.  Wouldn't want to look bad in front of the guy who is holding my accurate weight and measurements in his hands (so he clearly knows better!)

Suffice it to say that I left the Rec Center barely able to walk, my thighs threatening to collapse with every step.  And then it got bad....

Fast forward 16 hours.  I woke up Thursday barely able to get out of bed.  Shaving my legs was out of the question.  Hmmm....pants it is!  Descending my back stairs (precarious in the best of times, but that is another BLOG topic) was fairly thrill seeking.  It was pretty much 50/50 whether or not I was going to just fall right down.

Did you know that sitting down in an office chair is a squat?  That there are other daily activities that are also squats and I am now seeking out rails to keep me from "falling in"?  Or were you aware that descending stairs is actually a lunge?

So, if you see me in the next few days and I am waddling along like a penguin, you will know I have my Master, I mean Trainer, to thank.  And please don't, as my husband did, ask me to demonstrate the lunges he taught me.  Or at least please wait until November.  I might be able to walk by then.

Cross Promotion

Check out my husband and his "appearance" on one of my favorite blogs - oldwahoo.blogspot.com. 

And yes, I will post.....

soon......

probably tomorrow......

Middle School Registration as Social Litmus

This past (early!) Tuesday morning, I pulled out the reams of paperwork to fill out for my daughter's middle school registration.  Registration was Tuesday afternoon at 1:00pm, so true to form I was working under pressure.  Before I get too far into it, I should confess that I'm not new to middle school registration.  My daughter will be in her final year this year, so I've had two tries already before this!

Perhaps it was the knowledge that this is probably the final registration I will be welcome to attend.  Or possibly it's the sense I get that, although she clearly still enjoys my company, she probably won't be advertising that to her school friends anytime in the next few years. 

Whatever the reason, that manila folder of forms became a virtual minefield for me this year!

First came the Clinic Volunteer Form.  I paused over this.  I have never volunteered for Clinic before.  Having no useful health care background and no innate ability to comfort children other than my own, I've never been drawn to this.  It held my eye this year.  Maybe it would be a good idea to spend a few hours every other month on the inside of the school, during the regular school day. 

Then I thought about how my daughter might feel.  Anytime during elementary, and possibly her first year in middle school, she would have enjoyed the idea of me being around.  It occurred to me the 13 year old version may not feel the same.

Next came the PTO Volunteer Sheet.  I'm on the PTO Board and I think that is just fine in her eyes.  Field Day volunteer?  Probably not so fine.  Fun Night Chaperone?  Um....no, I think not.

I was still chuckling to myself about he idiosyncrasies of 13 and how we "dance" around them when I picked up the Photo order sheet. 

My recollection of school picture day includes a marbled blue or grey background and a small black plastic comb.  By middle school we had smeared gobs of Lip Smackers on our lips and probably snuck some unwise shade of eyeshadow in our backpack.  But that was as good as it got!

The options today are endless.  Six different shades of background.  Five different pose choices.  The opportunity to emboss their name on their wallet photos.  Whoa!  When did we start offering "Senior Pictures" to 8th graders????

But the option that completely rocked me was the Retouching Options.  Yes, you read that correctly and that wasn't a typo....optionS.  With an S.

The ability to soften a picture and hide blemishes for a mere extra $6 came out a few years ago.  I was actually pretty pleased with it.  Those photo packages cost a bundle, it was great to clean up the obvious stuff.  This year, however, for just ANOTHER $6 (total of 12), I could choose Premium Retouching.  My daughter's teeth would be whitened, skin tone evened, blemishes erased and stray hairs would be rubbed out.

This is AIR BRUSHING people!!!  They are AIR BRUSHING our children!!!

And that's not the worst part.  The worst part was that I actually had to think about this decision.  While completely morally opposed to the idea in theory, was I going to sacrifice my daughter in the name of my principles?  Her picture will be stacked up in the yearbook next to perfectly finished photos of her classmates.  They are ALL supposed to look dorky and awkward.  Now they'll all look like Disney produced the yearbook.

Since I'm sure you're wondering, I took the middle road.  I'm a "middle road" kind of girl.  Regular retouching so there are no zits blazing out of her face, but no air brushing.  Hopefully she'll thank me some day. 

I'm guessing that day will not be the one when the yearbook comes out.

Confessions of a sloppy homemaker

I am a slob. For years I have tried to pretend I am not.

It's not that I enjoy squalor. Truly, I love a clean house - it makes me very happy. Cluttered spaces cloud my mind - clean spaces open it up. Even more than that, it pains me that my house is almost never "spontaneous visit ready". One of my favorite things about my mom is that she always made her home the hub of activity and friends were always welcome. I feel the same, but my house is often so in a shambles that I hesitate to throw the doors open.

And I'm not just bad at clutter. I am delinquent in the cleaning aspect too. My home is a haven for dust bunnies, my bathroom always goes at least a day or two (or more!) longer than it should before I clean it, and when I say you could eat off my floors - it is not because they are sanitary.

I'm told I come by this honestly. My mother was never an excellent housekeeper. My grandmother used to push the dirty dishes back on the table to do her weekly baking. This is a little comforting. Not much, but a little.

So, if I like clean spaces why don't I make more of an effort to keep my house better? I'm ridiculously anal about my schedules, why can't I just "pencil it in" to my weeks? Heck - I could even give house cleaning it's own color on my calendar!

Because it is low, low, LOW on my priority list. There are so many other things that are either more pressing or, frankly, more fun. Dishes get done routinely, laundry can never be fully ignored, so it's not like I'm not doing ANYTHING in the house. But given the choice between washing floors or tidying the always cluttered dining room table - and an afternoon at the pool with my kids or an evening out with my friends? Hmmmmm...... Sorry, I'm not disciplined enough to Just Say No.

Also, I have 4 other bodies in the house helping to clutter and dirty. 3 of those other bodies are even less inclined to notice a dirty house than I am. I am slowly, finally trying to get them into a routine of chores that will lessen my load a little. It is an uphill battle

I live by a motto that I would rather have time with my kids than a clean house right now and that someday my house can always be clean because those 3 dirt-ignorant bodies will no longer be in residence. I know there are flaws with this logic. First, I have many friends who spend loads of times with their kids and still find time to keep a clean house. Second, I know myself well enough to know I will probably find more things to do when the kids grow up and the only difference may be the lack of Legos underfoot.

But a girl can dream!

Anyhooooo..... That's my confession. Now you know. If you stop by unannounced (and I hope you do!), you are forewarned. Now off to laundry, gardening, dust bunny control, etc!

Channeling my inner beach

On the eve of what promises to be the worst Walk-In Tuesday in some time (crap - I really should be sleeping right now!), I am trying to "channel my inner beach".

What the hell are you talking about Kim?

I am trying to reconnect with the utter serenity that was my world just 240 short hours ago. I returned home from Bear Lake this year so completely relaxed, I was practically comatose. The heat that kicked in the day after returning home made me a bit cranky and irritable - but it was a relaxed irritable!

Hmmm....what exactly was so soothing and soul nourishing? The nightly cards games were great - Oh Darn the first week and BS the second (please let my kids not share the real source of that acronym when they return to school soon). The night beach fires were festive, with s'mores and glow sticks. Drinks were aplenty - keg beer and slushy "girlie" drinks during the day and red wine or "Bear Lake Stingers" at night. (Now getting "stung"? Not so relaxing)

I'd have to say, as much as I enjoyed all of that, it was the reading that really brought me to that peaceful, laid back place. I read 4 1/2 books over the two weeks, including a re-read of one favorite, a "fun" read that brought me back to middle school, and two excellent books that came highly recommended, and rightly so.

I kicked off the first week with The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon. At 487 pages, translated from spanish, it wasn't what I would normally consider a "beach read". It garnered high praise from Kate & Ron Bernas - two whose opinions I trust, so I dove in. Rich in description, containing every element I could hope for from a novel - fascinating history, intrigue, tragedy, love story, great metaphor and even seemingly mystical elements - I was hooked. This book is a must read, particularly for people who love books and all they offer. My one and only problem with it? It has intimidated me. I don't think I could ever live up to that level of writing.

After that spellbinder, I definitely needed some levity. John, ever the thoughtful husband, overheard me talking about The Official Preppy Handbook by Lisa Birnbach with some friends. He managed to find a copy for me and presented it to me just before our trip. It was delightful and somewhat hilarious to re-read the "bible" from my middle school days. The most hilarious part about it? I don't think we actually ever got the satire when we were 13. Yikes!

Back to something more "meaty", I took a tip from my sister-in-law, Holly, who has also suggested several fantastic title to me. One of her favorites (and now one of mine) - People of the Book by Geraldine Brooks. At this point, I believe books about books was officially my Bear Lake reading theme. This tale, however, centers on a very special and particular book and weaves tragic and poignant historic tales through the fabric of a significant modern story. Again, I cannot recommend this book highly enough.

Next, in anticipation of the movie debut I re-read The Time Travelers Wife by Audrey Niffeneger. One of my absolute, top, favorite stories of all time, I truly lose myself in this story. I read the book 3 years ago at Bear Lake and distinctly remember the feeling of discombobulation every time I was forced to close the book and refocus on real life. The re-read was equally satisfying and I'm glad I took the time to do it, although I don't anticipate much from the movie. At least I like Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams. That will just have to do.

I finished out the second week with Craig Ferguson's Between the Bridge and the River. For anyone who follows late night television, Craig Ferguson hosts the "later" show after David Letterman on CBS. He's scottish and I find him very funny. John actually stumbled on his show and DVR's it all the time. It is a little odd watching it in the middle of the day, what with all the psedo child-porn 900 number commercial breaks, but never fails to make me laugh out loud at some point. I have read half of the book so far and I am enjoying it. He entertains as well on paper, if not better. Were I beachside, the book would be long finished, but sadly life interrupts.

Life? Like Walk-In Tuesdays? Good god - what am I still doing up at near midnight? That's all for now..... Night!