I present to you the scene of the crime - the Mort Harris Recreation and Fitness Center on the campus of Wayne State University. Looks harmless, doesn't it? It even looks rather pleasant. Ah, how easily we are fooled!
Folks - this is a torture chamber - trust me on this one! Don't believe me? Let me explain....
So I returned from San Antonio thinking perhaps it would be a good idea to get back into a workout routine. I spent 4 days literally eating my way through San Antonio. Guacamole made fresh at our table, mouth watering barbeque, prickly pear margarita.....mmmmm..... But I digress. You know how they say things are bigger in Texas? Well, 5000 calories per day later, my rear end is most certainly bigger, thanks to Texas!
So, inspired by extra junk in my trunk, I made an appointment to meet with a personal trainer. I have never worked with a personal trainer before. I work out at the gym, so that doesn't intimidate me, but have not dipped my toes in the personal training waters.
I meet with the PT - he seems harmless. Obviously fit, but not in a bulky, muscle-popping way. Poor guy has a horrible head cold, but he is persevering. How hard can he be on me, right?
He asks what my goal is for our session. Since I know he will tell me it is impossible to shrink my ass 2 sizes in one sitting, I opt for asking him to show me exercises I can do at home for the days I don't work out on my lunch hour. Also known as lately - every day.
What possesses minimally fit people like me to try to appear like we are fit to people who actually are, in fact, fit? As Mr. PT lead me through a series of seemingly low-level exercises and stretches, I focused on following them to the letter. Or rather, to the muscle. Burning thighs? Screaming deltoids? No problem. Wouldn't want to look bad in front of the guy who is holding my accurate weight and measurements in his hands (so he clearly knows better!)
Suffice it to say that I left the Rec Center barely able to walk, my thighs threatening to collapse with every step. And then it got bad....
Fast forward 16 hours. I woke up Thursday barely able to get out of bed. Shaving my legs was out of the question. Hmmm....pants it is! Descending my back stairs (precarious in the best of times, but that is another BLOG topic) was fairly thrill seeking. It was pretty much 50/50 whether or not I was going to just fall right down.
Did you know that sitting down in an office chair is a squat? That there are other daily activities that are also squats and I am now seeking out rails to keep me from "falling in"? Or were you aware that descending stairs is actually a lunge?
So, if you see me in the next few days and I am waddling along like a penguin, you will know I have my Master, I mean Trainer, to thank. And please don't, as my husband did, ask me to demonstrate the lunges he taught me. Or at least please wait until November. I might be able to walk by then.
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