Middle School Registration as Social Litmus

This past (early!) Tuesday morning, I pulled out the reams of paperwork to fill out for my daughter's middle school registration.  Registration was Tuesday afternoon at 1:00pm, so true to form I was working under pressure.  Before I get too far into it, I should confess that I'm not new to middle school registration.  My daughter will be in her final year this year, so I've had two tries already before this!

Perhaps it was the knowledge that this is probably the final registration I will be welcome to attend.  Or possibly it's the sense I get that, although she clearly still enjoys my company, she probably won't be advertising that to her school friends anytime in the next few years. 

Whatever the reason, that manila folder of forms became a virtual minefield for me this year!

First came the Clinic Volunteer Form.  I paused over this.  I have never volunteered for Clinic before.  Having no useful health care background and no innate ability to comfort children other than my own, I've never been drawn to this.  It held my eye this year.  Maybe it would be a good idea to spend a few hours every other month on the inside of the school, during the regular school day. 

Then I thought about how my daughter might feel.  Anytime during elementary, and possibly her first year in middle school, she would have enjoyed the idea of me being around.  It occurred to me the 13 year old version may not feel the same.

Next came the PTO Volunteer Sheet.  I'm on the PTO Board and I think that is just fine in her eyes.  Field Day volunteer?  Probably not so fine.  Fun Night Chaperone?  Um....no, I think not.

I was still chuckling to myself about he idiosyncrasies of 13 and how we "dance" around them when I picked up the Photo order sheet. 

My recollection of school picture day includes a marbled blue or grey background and a small black plastic comb.  By middle school we had smeared gobs of Lip Smackers on our lips and probably snuck some unwise shade of eyeshadow in our backpack.  But that was as good as it got!

The options today are endless.  Six different shades of background.  Five different pose choices.  The opportunity to emboss their name on their wallet photos.  Whoa!  When did we start offering "Senior Pictures" to 8th graders????

But the option that completely rocked me was the Retouching Options.  Yes, you read that correctly and that wasn't a typo....optionS.  With an S.

The ability to soften a picture and hide blemishes for a mere extra $6 came out a few years ago.  I was actually pretty pleased with it.  Those photo packages cost a bundle, it was great to clean up the obvious stuff.  This year, however, for just ANOTHER $6 (total of 12), I could choose Premium Retouching.  My daughter's teeth would be whitened, skin tone evened, blemishes erased and stray hairs would be rubbed out.

This is AIR BRUSHING people!!!  They are AIR BRUSHING our children!!!

And that's not the worst part.  The worst part was that I actually had to think about this decision.  While completely morally opposed to the idea in theory, was I going to sacrifice my daughter in the name of my principles?  Her picture will be stacked up in the yearbook next to perfectly finished photos of her classmates.  They are ALL supposed to look dorky and awkward.  Now they'll all look like Disney produced the yearbook.

Since I'm sure you're wondering, I took the middle road.  I'm a "middle road" kind of girl.  Regular retouching so there are no zits blazing out of her face, but no air brushing.  Hopefully she'll thank me some day. 

I'm guessing that day will not be the one when the yearbook comes out.