Middle School Registration as Social Litmus

This past (early!) Tuesday morning, I pulled out the reams of paperwork to fill out for my daughter's middle school registration.  Registration was Tuesday afternoon at 1:00pm, so true to form I was working under pressure.  Before I get too far into it, I should confess that I'm not new to middle school registration.  My daughter will be in her final year this year, so I've had two tries already before this!

Perhaps it was the knowledge that this is probably the final registration I will be welcome to attend.  Or possibly it's the sense I get that, although she clearly still enjoys my company, she probably won't be advertising that to her school friends anytime in the next few years. 

Whatever the reason, that manila folder of forms became a virtual minefield for me this year!

First came the Clinic Volunteer Form.  I paused over this.  I have never volunteered for Clinic before.  Having no useful health care background and no innate ability to comfort children other than my own, I've never been drawn to this.  It held my eye this year.  Maybe it would be a good idea to spend a few hours every other month on the inside of the school, during the regular school day. 

Then I thought about how my daughter might feel.  Anytime during elementary, and possibly her first year in middle school, she would have enjoyed the idea of me being around.  It occurred to me the 13 year old version may not feel the same.

Next came the PTO Volunteer Sheet.  I'm on the PTO Board and I think that is just fine in her eyes.  Field Day volunteer?  Probably not so fine.  Fun Night Chaperone?  Um....no, I think not.

I was still chuckling to myself about he idiosyncrasies of 13 and how we "dance" around them when I picked up the Photo order sheet. 

My recollection of school picture day includes a marbled blue or grey background and a small black plastic comb.  By middle school we had smeared gobs of Lip Smackers on our lips and probably snuck some unwise shade of eyeshadow in our backpack.  But that was as good as it got!

The options today are endless.  Six different shades of background.  Five different pose choices.  The opportunity to emboss their name on their wallet photos.  Whoa!  When did we start offering "Senior Pictures" to 8th graders????

But the option that completely rocked me was the Retouching Options.  Yes, you read that correctly and that wasn't a typo....optionS.  With an S.

The ability to soften a picture and hide blemishes for a mere extra $6 came out a few years ago.  I was actually pretty pleased with it.  Those photo packages cost a bundle, it was great to clean up the obvious stuff.  This year, however, for just ANOTHER $6 (total of 12), I could choose Premium Retouching.  My daughter's teeth would be whitened, skin tone evened, blemishes erased and stray hairs would be rubbed out.

This is AIR BRUSHING people!!!  They are AIR BRUSHING our children!!!

And that's not the worst part.  The worst part was that I actually had to think about this decision.  While completely morally opposed to the idea in theory, was I going to sacrifice my daughter in the name of my principles?  Her picture will be stacked up in the yearbook next to perfectly finished photos of her classmates.  They are ALL supposed to look dorky and awkward.  Now they'll all look like Disney produced the yearbook.

Since I'm sure you're wondering, I took the middle road.  I'm a "middle road" kind of girl.  Regular retouching so there are no zits blazing out of her face, but no air brushing.  Hopefully she'll thank me some day. 

I'm guessing that day will not be the one when the yearbook comes out.

Confessions of a sloppy homemaker

I am a slob. For years I have tried to pretend I am not.

It's not that I enjoy squalor. Truly, I love a clean house - it makes me very happy. Cluttered spaces cloud my mind - clean spaces open it up. Even more than that, it pains me that my house is almost never "spontaneous visit ready". One of my favorite things about my mom is that she always made her home the hub of activity and friends were always welcome. I feel the same, but my house is often so in a shambles that I hesitate to throw the doors open.

And I'm not just bad at clutter. I am delinquent in the cleaning aspect too. My home is a haven for dust bunnies, my bathroom always goes at least a day or two (or more!) longer than it should before I clean it, and when I say you could eat off my floors - it is not because they are sanitary.

I'm told I come by this honestly. My mother was never an excellent housekeeper. My grandmother used to push the dirty dishes back on the table to do her weekly baking. This is a little comforting. Not much, but a little.

So, if I like clean spaces why don't I make more of an effort to keep my house better? I'm ridiculously anal about my schedules, why can't I just "pencil it in" to my weeks? Heck - I could even give house cleaning it's own color on my calendar!

Because it is low, low, LOW on my priority list. There are so many other things that are either more pressing or, frankly, more fun. Dishes get done routinely, laundry can never be fully ignored, so it's not like I'm not doing ANYTHING in the house. But given the choice between washing floors or tidying the always cluttered dining room table - and an afternoon at the pool with my kids or an evening out with my friends? Hmmmmm...... Sorry, I'm not disciplined enough to Just Say No.

Also, I have 4 other bodies in the house helping to clutter and dirty. 3 of those other bodies are even less inclined to notice a dirty house than I am. I am slowly, finally trying to get them into a routine of chores that will lessen my load a little. It is an uphill battle

I live by a motto that I would rather have time with my kids than a clean house right now and that someday my house can always be clean because those 3 dirt-ignorant bodies will no longer be in residence. I know there are flaws with this logic. First, I have many friends who spend loads of times with their kids and still find time to keep a clean house. Second, I know myself well enough to know I will probably find more things to do when the kids grow up and the only difference may be the lack of Legos underfoot.

But a girl can dream!

Anyhooooo..... That's my confession. Now you know. If you stop by unannounced (and I hope you do!), you are forewarned. Now off to laundry, gardening, dust bunny control, etc!

Channeling my inner beach

On the eve of what promises to be the worst Walk-In Tuesday in some time (crap - I really should be sleeping right now!), I am trying to "channel my inner beach".

What the hell are you talking about Kim?

I am trying to reconnect with the utter serenity that was my world just 240 short hours ago. I returned home from Bear Lake this year so completely relaxed, I was practically comatose. The heat that kicked in the day after returning home made me a bit cranky and irritable - but it was a relaxed irritable!

Hmmm....what exactly was so soothing and soul nourishing? The nightly cards games were great - Oh Darn the first week and BS the second (please let my kids not share the real source of that acronym when they return to school soon). The night beach fires were festive, with s'mores and glow sticks. Drinks were aplenty - keg beer and slushy "girlie" drinks during the day and red wine or "Bear Lake Stingers" at night. (Now getting "stung"? Not so relaxing)

I'd have to say, as much as I enjoyed all of that, it was the reading that really brought me to that peaceful, laid back place. I read 4 1/2 books over the two weeks, including a re-read of one favorite, a "fun" read that brought me back to middle school, and two excellent books that came highly recommended, and rightly so.

I kicked off the first week with The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon. At 487 pages, translated from spanish, it wasn't what I would normally consider a "beach read". It garnered high praise from Kate & Ron Bernas - two whose opinions I trust, so I dove in. Rich in description, containing every element I could hope for from a novel - fascinating history, intrigue, tragedy, love story, great metaphor and even seemingly mystical elements - I was hooked. This book is a must read, particularly for people who love books and all they offer. My one and only problem with it? It has intimidated me. I don't think I could ever live up to that level of writing.

After that spellbinder, I definitely needed some levity. John, ever the thoughtful husband, overheard me talking about The Official Preppy Handbook by Lisa Birnbach with some friends. He managed to find a copy for me and presented it to me just before our trip. It was delightful and somewhat hilarious to re-read the "bible" from my middle school days. The most hilarious part about it? I don't think we actually ever got the satire when we were 13. Yikes!

Back to something more "meaty", I took a tip from my sister-in-law, Holly, who has also suggested several fantastic title to me. One of her favorites (and now one of mine) - People of the Book by Geraldine Brooks. At this point, I believe books about books was officially my Bear Lake reading theme. This tale, however, centers on a very special and particular book and weaves tragic and poignant historic tales through the fabric of a significant modern story. Again, I cannot recommend this book highly enough.

Next, in anticipation of the movie debut I re-read The Time Travelers Wife by Audrey Niffeneger. One of my absolute, top, favorite stories of all time, I truly lose myself in this story. I read the book 3 years ago at Bear Lake and distinctly remember the feeling of discombobulation every time I was forced to close the book and refocus on real life. The re-read was equally satisfying and I'm glad I took the time to do it, although I don't anticipate much from the movie. At least I like Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams. That will just have to do.

I finished out the second week with Craig Ferguson's Between the Bridge and the River. For anyone who follows late night television, Craig Ferguson hosts the "later" show after David Letterman on CBS. He's scottish and I find him very funny. John actually stumbled on his show and DVR's it all the time. It is a little odd watching it in the middle of the day, what with all the psedo child-porn 900 number commercial breaks, but never fails to make me laugh out loud at some point. I have read half of the book so far and I am enjoying it. He entertains as well on paper, if not better. Were I beachside, the book would be long finished, but sadly life interrupts.

Life? Like Walk-In Tuesdays? Good god - what am I still doing up at near midnight? That's all for now..... Night!

.....And we're back!

I realize I have been remiss in posting. For once I have a legitimate reason instead of convenient justifications.

For the past two weeks we have been enjoying my Eden. Each year we rent the simplest of cottages on a small lake in the Northern Lower Peninsula of Michigan.

The cottages are extremely basic - cinder block walls, cement or linoleum floors, flea market furniture. And don't even get me started on the mattresses. Sounds awful, right?

Well, the lack of luxury means I don't have to run after my kids and clean constantly. A simple sweep daily, a few dishes and I'm done.

But that's not even what makes it heavenly to me. To step out our door is to step directly onto the beach. The beach borders waters that have exactly the right amount of "swimmable" lake for my kids. No tricky extended sand bars for me to have to fret over how deep the kids are. Gradual slope and then 20 foot drop off clearly marked with midnight blue water.

For 14 glorious days I recline in festively painted Adirondack chairs, moving the sand between my toes, reading voraciously, pausing to forage through the shameful amount of food we bring or drag an icy beer from the keg my husband set up in our fridge (brilliant!).

My kids are finally of the age where they can (mostly) fend for themselves - there is plenty for them to do, they are good swimmers, they are old enough to get their own food and drinks. That doesn't mean I ignore them - but our interactions are, for the most part, by choice and full of fun.

Paradise gets old for John and Owen quickly but my girls take after me in maximizing every beach moment possible. When the boys get fidgety, we raise our heads lazily off our raft/chair/beach blanket and wish them the best on their daily adventure.

But we're back now. Back to messy house and meal planning. Back to calendars and schedules. Back to work and traffic.

I definitely have more to say about Bear Lake and our two weeks. Beyond being delightful they were also inspirational and have given me some writing ideas. For now, however, it is a small miracle that I am still awake and I need to head to bed so I can spend the next 6 1/2 hours confused about whether I am home or still at the cottage when I wake briefly from time to time.