My Four Year, Three Day Journey

By this time you are probably wondering why I bothered to set up a BLOG in the first place. Why on earth is so much time lapsing between posts? What could I possibly be doing that doesn't afford me a few minutes to jot down my thoughts?

Well, I've already ranted and raved about our schedules, so you know that is a factor. More importantly, however, I was preparing and then walking in my third Breast Cancer 3Day!

About 5 1/2 years ago, just after my third child was born, a very good friend of mine walked in the 2002 Avon Breast Cancer 3 Day and told me all about it. It sounded wonderful, both for the charitable and the health benefits (think post-pregnancy), but I still wasn't getting much sleep with a newborn around.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer just six months after that Walk, in November of 2002.

A year later I had been through a mastectomy, four months of chemotherapy and a TRAM flap reconstruction surgery. I was still chugging Vicodin when I got the e-mail from the same friend telling me about the 2004 Breast Cancer 3Day. She was walking again. Was I interested in donating?

I called her and asked if she would mind if I walked with her. I raised over $4000, walked 60 miles in 3 days in August 2004, promptly lost five of my ten toenails and have never looked back!

In 2005, another girlfriend and I formed Chicks for a Cure to fund raise as a team and potentially recruit more walkers. We ended up with 13 team members - 10 walkers and 3 crew members and we raised over $33,000! We had a lot of fun, even though the weekend was one of the most challenging, weather wise, of all the 3Days. This time my toenails remained intact.

My sister was married in 2006 and, naturally, the 3Day in my home state was scheduled for the weekend before her wedding. It was a very difficult decision and I know my sister would have supported me if I had chosen to do it. But, as Matron of Honor I really felt it would be irresponsible to risk my feet so close to the wedding.

After a year's hiatus I was very eager for the 2007 3Day. This year, instead of in the heat of summer, the walk was scheduled for the fall. While I was delighted that it probably meant less heat (who could have predicted 90's in October?), I was terrified about rain. Rain was my nemesis in 2004, causing a majority of my blisters.

Along the way to the 2007 3Day, I resurrected Chicks for a Cure. To my dismay, the only former teammates I could lure back were Crew (okay, one walker, but she went to Crew). Six new, wonderful women joined on to walk, however. And having five Crew Members as "Chicks" - looking out for us and performing random acts of kindness specifically for us - was a lovely security net as well.

The 2007 Chicks for a Cure totalled 12 and raised just short of $29,000!

The 2008 dates for the Walk have been announced and Chicks for a Cure will be back. Beware your e-mail inbox - I am looking for new CHICKS!!!!!

School is in Session

Back to School for our schools started last Wednesday. All three kids are now officially in public schools: my oldest in 6th grade (middle school!), my son in 3rd grade and my youngest in Kindergarten.

My husband and I have made living in this school system a priority, even when it may not have made a great deal of sense for us, monetarily. I cannot express adequately how happy I am that we clung to that. In particular, our experience at my children's current elementary school has been phenomenal.

This is my old elementary school, at least for my final three years at the elementary level. For that reason, I have my own sentimental fondness for it. But the current teaching and administrative staff is excellent to the degree that they are even noteworthy within the school system which itself has an terrific reputation. I am not giving lip service when I say that I never worry about which teacher assignment my kids get because there is not a mediocre choice in the bunch. Even the "specials" teachers are amazing, without exception.

My son's teacher has four sons herself. As one of my friends said, "She will not only tolerate his ramblings about animals and cars and whatnot, she will probably look forward to it." My son has been particularly blessed with perfect matches in teachers with the exception of a rough first traditional Kindergarten year.

My youngest's teacher turned everything around for my son when he went to all-day Kindergarten. She is dynamic and clever and yet extremely laid back. I have never witnessed anything but supreme calm from her, even at the most hectic moments. And I have accompanied her on a zoo field trip and been in the classroom for holiday parties! My daughter is already raving about how much fun she is having in Kindergarten.

My middle-schooler (ugh, still not ready to say that) reports good things about all of her teachers - she likes all of them so far. I look forward to meeting them at Back to School night.

Ah, the year is rolling. And all of us along with it!

Late Birthday Post

I am so overdue to post. I warned all of you that I wasn't ready for Fall!

This past Monday, September 3rd was my son's 9th Birthday. I can't believe my little boy is only a year away from double digits. He is such a big guy in body and for some time in words as well. Anyone who spends time with our family has been on the receiving end of one of my son's "isms" at least once.

But I have a hard time picturing him as much more than 4 or 5. I'm sure Poppy will enjoy that as he is fond of telling me that I baby him too much. I'm sure I probably do. It seems to be a family trait.

He is asserting his independence in many ways. He has become much more responsible with his things (although he is overdue for a room cleaning right now). He is walking home from school by himself every day. And just yesterday he and I argued because he doesn't want me to walk he and Natalie his little sister up to school every morning. He is trying to convince me to simply drop them off and let him walk her to the Kindergarten line. As responsible as I know he would be about that, it is simply not going to happen - sorry son! I enjoy our mornings too much to give them up just yet.

Even though I am late with this post, the birthday is ongoing. We are fond of "neverending birthdays" around here. We had dinner and cake for him last Sunday. We brought a cake to a Labor Day party on Monday and sang to him. Today we are going to Build-a-Bear Workshop and out to dinner and tomorrow we will have yet more cake and singing at Nana's. Truly neverending!

So, raise a toast or sing a little Happy Birthday to our handsome young man!

Fall Already?

Two days left until September.

Generally at this point I am a little tired of Summer, even though I know I will quickly miss the slower pace. I look forward to the crisp weather, the smells of cinnamon and burning wood, the fuller, richer tastes of more substantial food. I crave the organization and order the season demands in my household. This year, however, I am simply not ready for Fall!

Now curiously, I appear more ready. The school supplies are all purchased and ready to go. The calendar is quickly filling up with color-coded entries for each adult and child in our house. Enrollment forms for various sports and classes have been completed. I am taking stock of my cupboards and fridge and getting ready to fill it with breakfast standards, school lunch selections and quick dinner options. I am pulling dinner recipes that can be made ahead, slow-cooked, put together extremely quickly, or prepared by a teenage babysitter.

All those outward trappings hide the fact that I am not mentally ready for Fall.

I have not spent enough time at the pool, I have had far too few evenings trying to beat the heat sitting out on my front porch, I haven't eaten enough grilled food or salad. I know it will remain warm well into September and possibly even October. I know I can grill year-round if I like and a salad is always a better choice than some of the junk I eat.

But the atmosphere will be different. We will be on a schedule. We will have places to be, homework to do, bedtimes to make a priority. That is what I am truly not ready for - the high gear that Fall demands. Working for a university, we are already in high gear at work. I am barely meeting the energy and enthusiasm demands there. At home the pace is still slow, lazy and, most importantly, FLEXIBLE. Those days are numbered. I think we are down to 6.

So, this Labor Day weekend I will endeavor to gear myself up mentally for the onslought of Fall. I will organize my house, my calendar, my kids. I will marshall the energy required to keep all the balls in the air. I will stockpile enthusiasm to share when one or another of the kids or my husband gets overwhelmed or starts to drag.

I think maybe the term "super mom" was coined in the Fall.

Confession: I am a Groupie Wanna Be

Back on New Year's Day of 2000, I left my Y2K stockpile of bottled water, batteries and canned food behind and joined my sister at a Barenaked Ladies concert at the Palace of Auburn Hills. I was 31 years old, had two children and had never before been crazy about a band. My generation dismally lacked bands with the life altering charisma of the Beatles or the Rolling Stones. You never see an Internet survey that asks whether you prefer Poison or The Cars.

That day, however, I fell head over heels for "The Ladies" who are, in fact, not ladies but most definitely men. And I didn't fall in love with any one of them, I fell for the whole kit and caboodle. I was so impressed by the charisma of their show. Perhaps I was just feeling down and dumpy, a stay-at-home mom with some packed on pounds from two kids. But those three hours inspired me.

I was inspired to love music again, beyond just the Top 40 drivel I had been listening to. I was inspired by the art these three otherwise ordinary men had created. To look at them, although I see them as quite handsome (every single one in their own way!), they are truly the kind of men you could run into every day. Yet their music is sublime. The tunes are fun, catchy, multi-layered. But what I most admire are their lyrics. Whether they are poignant or downright hilarious, they strike such a cord with me. I would even go out on a limb and say they inspired me to consider writing. While I had always felt intimidated, I saw this amazing group of 5 who had met (at least the founders) in high school and wrote in such an articulate and intelligent way, whether the lyrics spelled out humor or pathos. Not to mention the fact that these guys are married, are in the midst of having families (like me), and they play hockey (who can resist that?)

With the help of my husband (who was very gracious in indulging my collective crush) I amassed their CD's. He also pandered to my growing obsession by keeping careful track of their tour schedule and purchasing concert tickets consistently, whether for a special occassion or "just because". I can safely say I have rarely missed a BNL pass-through and have traveled to catch a concert. We have even dragged two of our children to Toronto for the express purpose of attending a BNL benefit concert at Ontario Place. It still reins as one of my favorite concerts (0k, 2nd the one where they lived up to half of their moniker, but that is a whole 'nother story, as they say).

It may seem frivilous to say they have been my life soundtrack, but in the last 7 years they truly have been. I listened to a variety of Barenaked Ladies CD's to distract me from the side effects of chemotherapy. I listened to their Greatest Hits CD to train for my first 3-Day Walk in 2004. "Everything to Everyone" was quite possibly my personal soundtrack while I trained for the 2005 3-Day. Their "Barenaked for the Holidays" is more of a standard in our house then "White Christmas". It has my kids fascinated with Hannukah.

I admire these guys. They are articulate and talented and socially conscious and involved. They are funny, VERY funny! Have I mentioned that intelligent humor (without pretention) drives me wild?

I am grateful to this group. They inspire me. They amuse me. Most of all, they show me that ordinary people may be the exterior for extraordinary talent. Perhaps there is hope for my writing.

So, am I a groupie? Well, I would say no. Just barely. I have all of the characteristics. Here is what holds me back: I am cheap. I cannot wait in line at the backstage door to stalk this group. Believe me, I would. Or at least I would be thrilled to meet them. But I generally have a "curfew" - a time my babysitter has to be home by, my kids should be in bed by, or just common courtesy for whatever family member might have felt sorry for me on this occassion.

So, my utmost compliments to my inspiration(s): the Barenaked Ladies. You are phenomenal and I can't wait until you roll through town again!

Letting Go

It's so cliche, but it truly does feel like yesterday when my oldest daughter was the only baby around and everyone was completely fascinated with her every move, from giggles and gurgles to the first big steps. Of course, her dad and I were delighted with all she did. As the first child of her generation in our family, though, she was a source of entertainment for all - aunties, uncles, cousins and, naturally, her adoring grandparents. Could that really have been 11 years ago?

Now we are taking new steps of all kinds with her. As her last "elementary" summer winds down, we are gearing up for her to start Middle School. Almost as a symbol of her growing independence, this is the summer she asked to accompany a friend (and her family) on a week-long family trip. She is farther away from us than she has been since birth, eating their favorite family dishes, sleeping under a strange roof, taking part in someone else's traditions.

She was thrilled to be invited and I was (am) delighted for her. Her friend is a very sweet girl - funny, adorable, talented, athletic and, most of all, a nice girl with the same sort of value for friendship my daughter has. They are pictured together above, enjoying themselves as they usually do when they are together. Her family is equally nice and I trust them implicitly, not only with my daughter's safety, but with her happiness as well.

Still, it is an awkward week. I feel incomplete and a little out of my element. I am certainly enjoying increased time with my other two. But I can't help looking over my shoulder from time to time, expecting her to be there. I wait for her to sign into gmail so we can have one of our brief funny "chats" in the middle of the day.

I know this is just a taste of what is coming as she continues to spread her wings. And I am glad she has the confidence and poise to do this. But I would be lying if I didn't admit it is somewhat bittersweet. I would never rush this golden week for her, but I will be happy to see her home Saturday. I will feel my nest is full again, the way it still feels natural to me.

Happy 1st Anniversary!

Hard to believe that it was only one year ago that we were stressing about the day's schedule and I was hiding from my sister the fact that the Best Man and another Groomsman were MIA.

Happy 1st Anniversary to my little sister and my brother-in-law! They are kind, loving, beautiful, intelligent, fascinating people individually and, together, they have the amazing quality of being both dynamic and down-to-earth at the same time. Naturally, their wedding was a blast from start to finish. One of the best parties I've been to in some time!

They live in DC, which is hard for all of us sometimes but has also had its benefits. We have all been able to visit that amazing city and see it as tourists and as semi-insiders. My kids are counting the days until they can take solo flights to visit their aunt and uncle. My oldest is hoping to go soon, while my son has targeted 10 years old as his "ready" date. My youngest would go now if I let her. Not a chance.

Speaking of youngest children, my sister is also the youngest in the family. Something about those youngest siblings, especially girls! Check out the picture of her on the altar with her brand new husband. Seems to me, except for the age, you could practically interchange my youngest with my baby sister between the picture in my last post with the altar picture. You could nearly interchange them in real life as well!

Have a wonderful, wonderful day you two! All of us who love you so much at home are thinking of you today and remembering what a lovely day we had last year.

Heard on a Busy Friday

I should let my husband write this one, because it was his encounter. Every other Friday he has the day off because he works Saturday. So, he gets some true quality time with the kids without the distraction of Mom. Without my oldest daughter around, he was IMMERSED in the other two and apparently they were very, very chatty today. The youngest in particular.

For example:

My husband and daughter were each having a glass of lemonade and he offered, "Cheers!" My daughter came back with, "Cheers to God, because he gives us all the cool things." (We are very neglectful church-goers)

My daughter later offered markers to my husband and told him to pick his favorite color. He picked blue and told her it reminded him of the ocean. "Like the ocean in Jamaica on your date with Mom?" (Wow, no one can ever say I'm a cheap date!)

Or the one that I'm sure will prove to be my father's favorite -- "Dad, you need to finish one job before you start another." says the 5 year old. To which my husband asked, "Where did you get that line from?" She outright lied and said, "No one. I made it up myself."

In the interest of proper citation - thank you Poppy! Thanks to you my living room was completely cleaned by the time I got home from work.

Silly little ramblings coming out of a little mouth, but she lives large. The picture above says it all.

Little did I know how quickly this would come in handy...

Tonight was a perfect example of why it is so important for me to get this stuff in written (is that what this is?) form. My oldest daughter leaves for a week away with her best friend tomorrow very early in the morning. She is spending the night at her house tonight. To give her a good send-off, my husband cooked a very tasty dinner and offered to treat everyone to Coldstone.

As we sat outside Coldstone wolfing down our "Signature Creations", I turned to my daughter and said, "I can't believe you are actually leaving for a week!"

She turned back and said, "I can't believe I'm leaving YOU for a week." (Have I mentioned she's a bit of a mama's girl?)

But the punchline came when my son added right on her heels, "I can't believe you're leaving for a week with $80." (Have I mentioned he's a bit materialistic?)

Inaugural Post

At the ripe old age of 38 I am certain Alzheimer's is just around the corner. I have a terrible memory for conversations, details of encounters, etc. Give me a phone number to remember and I'm all over it, but my previous power of vivid recall has left me. And I stink at writing things down to preserve the memory of it. Friends and family are forever recalling my children's funny anecdotes that I have completely forgotten. Which is sad because I have three pretty hilarious kids! So, at the risk of your complete boredom, I have decided I need a mechanism to "get down" the details and anecdotes of my life. Welcome to my mechanism!