Mad Mommy Meanderings

Will this Week Never End???

2011-09-01T15:55:00.001-04:00

I never thought I would want to rush the final full week of summer, but GOOD LORD this is week dragging on!!! Can we just get on with it already? It certainly didn't help that Wayne started classes, which raised the bar on hectic in my office. Walk-ins were, as always, a treat. The first day was by far the most bizarre, but the next four had their own doozies. Every day feels like it should be a day later. Every hour seems like it is two hours earlier than it should be.

Of course, it could be the prospect of a four day weekend (I took the first day of school off) that has dragged this one out. Next week will seem like a breeze. In the meantime, when the whistle blows at 5pm tomorrow.....look out world!!!!

Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be.....Walk-ins!

2011-08-25T23:06:00.000-04:00

Anyone who has been my friend for any length of time, either on Facebook or "for real", is well aware of the term "walk-ins" and what it means in my world. For the few souls who have escaped my kvetching - I work as an undergraduate advisor for a major university and, while I usually see students on an appointment basis, ocassionally we have "walk-in days" to accommodate "emergencies" and/or the chronically underprepared. That Latter part of that sentence is largely redundant. And, as a wise woman once said, there are no EMERGENCIES in higher education. But I digress.

As we are fast approaching the start of the semester, our five-day walk-in period started today bright and early at 8:30am. (Actually I am guessing more like 7:45am for some, as we had a line all the way through the computer lab from our front door when we came in)

Now, I distinctly recall only a few years ago being adamantly required to register my son for soccer by August 1st or risk him missing the entire Fall season, NO EXCEPTIONS. So it makes me CRAZY when my students wait until late August to register for classes. This is your EDUCATION, people!!! Registration for Fall opens in mid-March! With a few tiny exceptions, everyone should be able to register. Tuition is not due until August. Save your spots!!

But no, every year we have a parade of students who sit forlornly for hours in our lobby. Some bring parents, some have small children in tow, many have the nerve to have attitude about the length of their wait. Today was no exception.

Some of my favorite examples:

*My very first student of the day, returning to school after a few years. She was a talker. Talk talk talk. Told me her story endlessly, talked through my questions to her for clarification. Talked through my answers to HER questions. Told me all about her need to pursue Psychology because she has been told she is "an excellent listener who really helps people." Did I mention she was a CLOSE talker? When looking at her registration on the computer, she leaned so far over her nose was less than a foot from my cleavage. Honey, you're going to have to by me dinner first next time.

*Sisters who argued with each other throughout 95% of their time in my office. One sister was already a Junior while the other was an incoming Freshman. The Frosh did not attend Orientation because Sis told her she didn't need to and she would help her register. The problem? Junior sister is a Business major and Frosh sister is Pre-Med. Only one of the courses she scheduled could be salvaged. Their 5% moment of total unity? When I dared suggest that, in the future, the girls seek advice from actual advisors. Apparently I was unappreciative of Junior's obvious um, talents and knowledge. "She was just trying to help and she has done just fine and she's only seen an advisor once." I sneaked a peek - I couldn't help it. The "talented" one is carrying a 2.17 gpa.

*The incoming transfer student who was admitted in April and has met with an advisor not once, but twice and is STILL NOT REGISTERED! Allegedly that is a lot of pressure to commit.

*Numerous, NUMEROUS students who applied and were admitted since August 20th. It frustrates me to no end that we allow it in the first place. But really people? Take a little responsibility here. You want full college services in ten days or less? Oh yes, and classes that work for YOUR schedule. Um, did I mention? Soccer - August 1st - for ten year olds!!!!

I could go on and on. As a matter of fact, I just might. But it will have to continue another time. I have to rest up for Day 2. It only gets more desperate from here.....

The Cake was the Boss

2011-08-23T00:39:00.001-04:00

Soooooo......the next time you hear me say bake without "ry" at the end of it - QUICK - distract me! Break out the wine, bring up some good gossip, just gently lead me away from the kitchen. It is definitely time for an intervention.

I'm not a bad cook. I'm not inspired and effortless like my mom and sister, but I can churn out a decent family meal and occasionally the "PTO cookbook worthy" appetizer or salad.

Baking is a different story. Why oh why did I not listen to my mother last night when she responded to my enthusiasm for baking a cake from scratch with the observation that Costco makes excellent red velvet cakes??? Not only does this woman know all things food, she has a pretty good beat on me, having known me for some 42 years!

How bad is it, you might ask. Really Kim, what could possibly go so wrong? Well, it started with red velvet cake. And I mean so red I felt like I was channeling my inner Twilight. Truly, it looked a little scary.

Then against all of my self-knowledge, I started "multitasking" - finishing up the cake which making cookie dough and prepping the cream cheese frosting all the while putting away staples like flour and sugar. Which explains why I emptied the flour bag into the sugar bin. ARGH!

I also should have paid attention to the multiple times my 15 year old dropped into the kitchen and then walked back out shaking her head and giggling.

Thankfully I was nearing the end of what I planned to accomplish when my finger got caught in the mixer. And it's probably testament to my baking induced insanity that my first thought was "I'll be pissed if I'm bleeding in the white cream cheese frosting - why couldn't it be the cake batter.". (FYI - I wasn't't bleeding). My remedy was to brew a cup of tea and lick the icing bowl and spatula until my finger stopped throbbing.

Surprisingly, I think the results may actually be more than just edible. In the meantime, that's an entire Monday evening I can never get back.

Fair Weather Writing

2010-09-13T22:39:00.001-04:00

So another month has passed in silence. My resolve to write daily, or at least steadily? Back in the toilet.

Why? Why? WHY?

Lack of time? Nope, not this time. Busy as every, but not too busy to jot something down.

Lack of energy? No, I have had highs and lows but for the most part pretty steady.

Lack of material? I had one kid start high school and another middle school in that time period. Material I've got. In spades!

I think material may be the problem, but not "lack of". As I scroll back over posts, most of them deal with funny anecdotes, proud moments, interesting observations. Other than describing my breast cancer battle which was written well after and even then from a fairly humorous point of view, I don't "do" frustration and anger. And that, my friends, has been my problem for the past month or so.

July saw me ramping up my 3-Day training and getting into yoga - I felt GREAT and was excited about where it was taking me. And then my knee began to ache. And ache. And ache some more.

And then it caved.

So for the past month I have been dealing with the ridiculously long, drawn-out process of diagnosing the problem (A minor tear to my meniscus, thank you. And minor? What would MAJOR feel like - yikes!) Never mind the curing of it. Other than fully staying off it for a week, which definitely helped, and some great drugs I've had nothing. Physical therapy has not yet started (they are clearly overbooked) and I am left wobbling around, wondering about my 3-Day status.

You see? I don't do grumpy well. It's just not my thing. I have a hard time expressing frustration in writing and believing anyone would want to read it. Hence the absence.

I recognize this is something a GOOD writer should be able to do. So I am. Or at least I am trying.

Here I go with the cross promotion again!

2010-08-05T16:05:00.000-04:00

You would think two sisters would be capable of bullying each other enough to keep us motivated and on track with our training, right? Apparently Eileen and I are WAY too nice to be successful via a mere training log.

So check out our new "tool" - our training blog:

http://chicktheattitude.blogspot.com/

Feel free to bully us via comments. Also, enjoy all the crazy antics and observances as we walk into oblivion.

EWF

2010-07-23T20:00:00.002-04:00

For the past few weeks I have been working hard on my training for the upcoming Komen 3 Day in Washington DC. I thought it was the least I could do, since many of you have so graciously stepped up and taken care of most of my fundraising (only $80 to go!!) My sister has spurred me on from afar - we are training "together" through our shared training log on Google. 4 days a week I am walking, 2 days cross training, with one day of rest.

At least that's the ideal schedule.

And except for a random week or few days here and there, we have been fairly true to it. Some of my crosstraining has been on the elliptical but more and more I am opting to go to yoga classes. For anyone who scoffs at the idea of yoga as "training" - let me tell you how completely soaked in sweat this uncoordinated body gets during even a short forms ashtanga or a basic class!

I feel great!

Or at least I felt great. A couple of weeks ago I started having random pains down my right outer calf, shooting from my knee. The knee itself seemed okay. And it was mostly while driving, so I blamed it on my shoes and usually kicked them off to seek relief. As days went by, it increased, nagging me at night and other times when I was at rest. Ironically, activity brought relief. I had almost no pain, other than some initial stiffness at the start, when walking, using the elliptical or performing yoga.

This week the pain got more intense until yesterday when I looked down and noticed I had this weird concave spot on my knee. Naturally I completely freaked out. Cancelled my yoga class reservation, came straight home to the couch to ice and raise my knee. Then called my good friend and doctor (poor man) who always gets our random calls and certainly must believe us to be complete hypochondriacs. He invited us over so he could take a look.

The diagnosis?

EWF

Exercising While Fat. Yep. That's it. My poor knee isn't used to this much regular and consistent level of training and is rebelling.

The cure, though, is to get some of this weight off of it so it's not such a strain. So it's back to training I go. Carefully and with plenty of rest and ice in between. Oh, and naproxen (Aleve)? My new best friend!

P.S. I think I need to copyright EWF because I doubt I'm alone. European Weightlifting Federation be damned!

P.P.S. No, my doctor did not actually state that in his diagnosis - that's my own synopsis of it!

Reminds me of a story

2010-07-20T17:00:00.000-04:00

Thanks for all the encouragement in light of my "despair" (ok, potential lameness) of the last post! Your kind words and fresh ideas re inspired me.

My favorite by far, however, was from my friend Colleen. Um, duh - pen and paper Kim. She didn't quite say it like that, but she probably should have!!!

Reminds me of one of my favorite stories of all time.

Once upon a time, long ago (let's say 17 or 18 years, shall we?) John and I were invited to spend some time with John's best man (and my good friend) Eric at his delightful parents' cottage in Paradise, Michigan. (Actually, I meant his parents are delightful. However, I remember the cottage as a pretty great getaway as well!)

We stayed, we saw, we hiked, we played, we ate (of course), we tried out Mr. Smith's newly hooked up shower (individually, thank you).

Ultimately, at some point we were lazing around on bunks, chairs, etc. I was reading. I distinctly remember Eric yawning and saying, "I wish I brought my laptop, I'd really like to play some solitaire."

At which point I very exaggeratedly rolled my eyes and pointed to the two decks of playing cards on the table. I remember thinking very haughtily, "I'll never be that dependent on technology."

So, I take Colleen's response as a very good-natured eye roll which I very much deserved. And, since I'm not going to buy a new laptop at this time, perhaps I will splurge on a very nice notebook and fancy pen! Let the writing roll on!

Oh laptop, why have you forsaken me?

2010-07-19T16:45:00.000-04:00

Just when I started feeling truly motivated..... And I'm finally starting to deliver (hey, I definitely consider 3 posts in one week DELIVERING!). This more consistent posting was inspiring me to consider bringing fewer books up north and spending a couple of hours each day working on my novel.

And then..........

My laptop crashed!

It has since been revived, but it is clearly on life support. My WONDERFUL tech guy admonished - "if you have anything on there you want to keep, you'd better back it up soon!" Ouch.

See? So this is where I get sidelined. In addition to stretching my writing muscles by actually writing, I've been furiously reading books on getting published, writing chick lit, etc. I am SO ready. And now this.

Am I tempted to go on the Dell website and order myself a new laptop? Um, yes, and apparently it could be delivered effective 7/22. I found this out after building the whole thing and then aborting in a panic.

Am I also tempted to just save my current progress on the book, back it up and put my head in the sand and resign myself to passive reading for a full seven days? Yes, definitely I am. In an effort to persevere, I am considering writing on the crippled laptop anyway. But what happens if it crashes and I lose all my new work? Argh! Decisions.

Sadly, my budget dares not accommodate the former, even with my awesome educator's discount and wicked payment plan. Therefore, it's on my plate to either give in to or resist the latter. I hate being a grown up sometimes.

What's a girl to do!?!

Fan - addict

2010-07-14T23:47:00.001-04:00

By now I'm sure I have complained/whined/moaned in more posts than not about my terribly hectic schedule when it comes to the kids' sports and activities. If I counted the hours spent driving and dropping to practices and attending various sporting events for three children, it would come pretty close to the number of hours I spend weekly on the job. I'm certain it would exceed the number of hours a week I sleep!

Want to know a secret? For the most part, at least when it comes to actually being able to watch the sports....

I LOVE IT!

No matter how much I complain. No matter which sport. No matter which kid. Really! I do. I love it.

Last night it was a softball double header - the playoffs. It was my oldest's first game back after torn ligaments in her ankle. Of course it had to be playoffs, because who comes back to boring old regular games???? My daughter's team lost both games. Both games were totally within their power to win. Both teams we faced we had beaten at least once before. My daughter played, in her words, "okay". In my opinion, perfectly fine for a first game back. But not as good as she would have liked to play at the end of a season in an important game, had the summer gone differently for her physically. Oh, and did I mention? The games were in Armada - over an hour drive and mostly on back roads.

This should have been a recipe for dread and disaster, right? Wrong. Still loved it. I enjoyed every pitch, every hit, every strikeout, every play, every error. I enjoyed the comeradery of the parents in "soccer" chairs, the chatter spilling over from the bench. I can't say I enjoyed overhearing the coach's frustration at some slower timing and a little bit of bobbling on my daughter's part, but - hey - it's part of the game. And she will learn more hearing it from him than from me, that's for sure! It allows me to fully be the "cheerleader", as one of her past coaches once said, and know that she will learn what she needs to do next time.

Today it was a 2 1/2 hour swim meet. Only one of my kids (the youngest) swam today due to a last minute "injury" to my son. And she was only in two events. So, I was basically there to watch about 45 seconds of swimming. This drives my poor mother crazy. I think she has made it to two of the kids' meets over the past 6 years because she simply cannot understand why on earth sane people would agree to spend 2, 3, 4 hours to watch their kids for mere minutes or even seconds. In response to my scolding that she easily spent 3-4 hours a day at the hockey rink with my brother, her response is "Yes, but that was for a game that lasted an hour and a half." She has a point.

But it doesn't matter - I still loved it. Swim meets have a special energy. Particularly home swim meets in the summer. A big picnic is organized for the swimmers and their families for after the meet that is pizza and potluck. Smaller splinter picnics crop up around throughout the meet, connecting parents. We rush up to the fence every so often for our few seconds of spectatorship, cheer loudly and then high five our kids and collect their ribbons for safe keeping. Good times. In those few seconds of spectatorship is a thrill, a high if you will. Watching my kids executing strokes that I myself flail through is truly fun to me. They are not always perfect in their execution, far from it. But every meet shows their improvement and maturity. Have I mentioned, I love it?

I'm too tired now and this entry is too long to start in on volleyball. And soccer. And football. And hockey. And baseball. Right now my kids only play the first two. But I'll watch them all. And no matter how long the drive, how hot/cold/wet/windy the conditions, how tired I am, how brief my kids' appearance -- I guarantee I'm loving it!

What a Difference 6 Months Makes

2010-07-12T23:37:00.002-04:00

I amused myself by going back and reading my past blog posts this evening. I'm mortified by the time lapses. Not the sign of a dedicated and successful writer, that's for sure! Does that mean my experiment failed?

Well, no matter, I'm back again. As I look back to my last post, over 6 months ago, it amazes me what a shift our family life has taken. In December 2009 I was caught up between middle school drama and elementary delight. My kids were just that --- kids --- for all my comments about the teen and preteen.

Fast forward six months and our house feels very different. The 8 year old is the sole remaining elementary kid. Someone said to me the other day, "THIS is the baby?" Yes, this is my baby - eagerly looking forward to being more independent and walking home with her friends instead of her brother (with strict orders not to put on the Clexton Show).

My son is most definitely a Tween now. On the verge of middle school he is in that quagmire where his emotions and his hormones run from young man to little boy and it's often hard to keep up. My running worry is that one of us is not going to make it to his 12th birthday. Odds are even right now as to who that "one" is going to be!

Probably most dramatically different is my 14 year old. For all that we have called her 13 going on 40 and so on, she was really still just a mature child until just recently. Suddenly, she is a young woman. Until an ankle injury sidelined her, her summer plans were consumed with readying herself for high school sports through camps. Her humor is quite adult, her observations are witty and sarcastic, her eyes seem to see and understand more.

It doesn't help that I came across pictures like the one below, taken when I was right around her age. And it brings back memories of what I was up to at that age. Lord, have mercy!

Just the other day I watched her to climb into a car of kids, with a seventeen year old at the wheel. It really startled me and stayed with me all day. Thankfully, this occurred at 6:45am and the drive was to be roughly six blocks, so I knew the potential for shenanigans was minimal.

It took me a few days, but I have made my peace with that moment. Just in time came the following tidbit to knock me off my feet:

"Mom, you know I'm eligible to start driver's training in February, right?"

Ouch.

Best Laid Plans

2009-12-31T00:59:00.000-05:00

I can't imagine I'm the only one who would view two weeks off work as an opportunity to accomplish big things. Granted, I knew the two weeks would be punctuated by a good deal of time spent celebrating the holidays. But still, I had plenty of time to clean house, organize closets and go through old boxes. In general, the plan was to start the New Year O-R-G-A-N-I-Z-E-D.

Now I have 4 days left with very little to show for the time passed.

Oh I have definitely enjoyed myself. I have had a number of lazy days in addition to days of celebration with family and friends.

But here I am, behind on the laundry (AS USUAL, anyone in my house would say), rooms and closets only minimally tidied and old boxes as packed up and disorganized as ever.

Well, 4 days is 4 days. There is still hope. I can still conquer this house and start the New Year organized. If I'm nothing else, I'm optimistic!

Birthday Recap

2009-12-29T01:27:00.001-05:00

Wow - what a day! First, I am officially no longer 40, I am "in my 40's". Um, gulp. My mantra is "it beats the alternative".

I stayed up far too late the night before, sucked into Law & Order SVU. I was definitely exhausted from many days strung together of Christmas, post-Christmas and 8 year old birthday mayhem. This created an inertia so severe that extended TV watching seemed easier and wiser than the exertion it would take to get into PJ's, remove makeup and get into bed.

Therefore, waking at 9am, which would normally be sleeping in, meant only 6 hours of sleep. I still had a lovely couple of hours of solitude, catching up online and drinking a pot of tea, before my kids woke up. Unfortunately, the crazy roller coaster schedule I have had my kids on meant, even though they slept in, they woke up cranky and difficult.

Happily, I was leaving cranky behind! Three of my favorite people in the world - my best friend, my sister and my mom organized an impromptu lunch outing to Good Girls Go to Paris - an amazing place that I have been dying to visit. I left my kids in their PJ's with a simple request that "for my birthday" they tidy up their toys so I would be able to vaccum when I returned.

The lunch was both delightful and delicious! I cannot recommend the restaurant highly enough. I will certainly go back. Since it is on the fringe of WSU's campus, probably more than I should! As a matter of fact, I issue an open invitation to my WSU friends to accompany me as I sample my way through the menu. (or anyone else who wants to meet me there!) And the company could not have been more perfect. A slice of the day I would like to freeze in time.

Then we arrived home. The simple request that they tidy? Hmmmm..... Not only was nothing tidied, the scene had digressed. The children were still in PJ's and in much the same position as I had left them.

I blame the lack of sleep. I lost it. Full on drama queen tantrum. "I rarely ask for anything.... Can't believe nothing was done..... It's my birthday...." Slamming doors included, tears plentiful, and embarrassingly all in front of my sister. Not that I mind her seeing the warts, but hated to put a cramp in her visit. Especially so near the end.

Soooooooo...... yelling, tears, door slam, lots of pouting.

Miraculously (and probably due in part to Eileen removing Natalie from the scene), my older two pulled it together and cleaned the living room and dining room (something I probably wouldn't have accomplished in the same amount of time). While this occurred I pouted and took a very cleansing nap. I woke up to my poor over-criticized husband having used his break to pick up a birthday cake and arrange take out chinese food (since he had to work until 9pm) for dinner. Oh, and he also organized an impromptu small party with my family. This all in the wake of a separate tantrum all for him.

So the evening ended with great Chinese, delicious ice cream cake, watching Up with my parents, my kids, my sister, and eventually my husband and brother in law. It also included a little wine and even champagne.

Although it may not have been a day that I am fully proud of, it seems a day that most accurately represents my daily life. Therefore, perhaps it can be considered an excellent 41st birthday!

Systematic torture of a marshmallow mommy

2009-10-09T16:48:00.000-04:00

I present to you the scene of the crime - the Mort Harris Recreation and Fitness Center on the campus of Wayne State University. Looks harmless, doesn't it? It even looks rather pleasant. Ah, how easily we are fooled!

Folks - this is a torture chamber - trust me on this one! Don't believe me? Let me explain....

So I returned from San Antonio thinking perhaps it would be a good idea to get back into a workout routine. I spent 4 days literally eating my way through San Antonio. Guacamole made fresh at our table, mouth watering barbeque, prickly pear margarita.....mmmmm..... But I digress. You know how they say things are bigger in Texas? Well, 5000 calories per day later, my rear end is most certainly bigger, thanks to Texas!

So, inspired by extra junk in my trunk, I made an appointment to meet with a personal trainer. I have never worked with a personal trainer before. I work out at the gym, so that doesn't intimidate me, but have not dipped my toes in the personal training waters.

I meet with the PT - he seems harmless. Obviously fit, but not in a bulky, muscle-popping way. Poor guy has a horrible head cold, but he is persevering. How hard can he be on me, right?

He asks what my goal is for our session. Since I know he will tell me it is impossible to shrink my ass 2 sizes in one sitting, I opt for asking him to show me exercises I can do at home for the days I don't work out on my lunch hour. Also known as lately - every day.

What possesses minimally fit people like me to try to appear like we are fit to people who actually are, in fact, fit? As Mr. PT lead me through a series of seemingly low-level exercises and stretches, I focused on following them to the letter. Or rather, to the muscle. Burning thighs? Screaming deltoids? No problem. Wouldn't want to look bad in front of the guy who is holding my accurate weight and measurements in his hands (so he clearly knows better!)

Suffice it to say that I left the Rec Center barely able to walk, my thighs threatening to collapse with every step. And then it got bad....

Fast forward 16 hours. I woke up Thursday barely able to get out of bed. Shaving my legs was out of the question. Hmmm....pants it is! Descending my back stairs (precarious in the best of times, but that is another BLOG topic) was fairly thrill seeking. It was pretty much 50/50 whether or not I was going to just fall right down.

Did you know that sitting down in an office chair is a squat? That there are other daily activities that are also squats and I am now seeking out rails to keep me from "falling in"? Or were you aware that descending stairs is actually a lunge?

So, if you see me in the next few days and I am waddling along like a penguin, you will know I have my Master, I mean Trainer, to thank. And please don't, as my husband did, ask me to demonstrate the lunges he taught me. Or at least please wait until November. I might be able to walk by then.

Cross Promotion

2009-09-15T23:27:00.001-04:00

Check out my husband and his "appearance" on one of my favorite blogs - oldwahoo.blogspot.com.

And yes, I will post.....

soon......

probably tomorrow......

Middle School Registration as Social Litmus

2009-08-27T22:49:00.003-04:00

This past (early!) Tuesday morning, I pulled out the reams of paperwork to fill out for my daughter's middle school registration. Registration was Tuesday afternoon at 1:00pm, so true to form I was working under pressure. Before I get too far into it, I should confess that I'm not new to middle school registration. My daughter will be in her final year this year, so I've had two tries already before this!

Perhaps it was the knowledge that this is probably the final registration I will be welcome to attend. Or possibly it's the sense I get that, although she clearly still enjoys my company, she probably won't be advertising that to her school friends anytime in the next few years.

Whatever the reason, that manila folder of forms became a virtual minefield for me this year!

First came the Clinic Volunteer Form. I paused over this. I have never volunteered for Clinic before. Having no useful health care background and no innate ability to comfort children other than my own, I've never been drawn to this. It held my eye this year. Maybe it would be a good idea to spend a few hours every other month on the inside of the school, during the regular school day.

Then I thought about how my daughter might feel. Anytime during elementary, and possibly her first year in middle school, she would have enjoyed the idea of me being around. It occurred to me the 13 year old version may not feel the same.

Next came the PTO Volunteer Sheet. I'm on the PTO Board and I think that is just fine in her eyes. Field Day volunteer? Probably not so fine. Fun Night Chaperone? Um....no, I think not.

I was still chuckling to myself about he idiosyncrasies of 13 and how we "dance" around them when I picked up the Photo order sheet.

My recollection of school picture day includes a marbled blue or grey background and a small black plastic comb. By middle school we had smeared gobs of Lip Smackers on our lips and probably snuck some unwise shade of eyeshadow in our backpack. But that was as good as it got!

The options today are endless. Six different shades of background. Five different pose choices. The opportunity to emboss their name on their wallet photos. Whoa! When did we start offering "Senior Pictures" to 8th graders????

But the option that completely rocked me was the Retouching Options. Yes, you read that correctly and that wasn't a typo....optionS. With an S.

The ability to soften a picture and hide blemishes for a mere extra $6 came out a few years ago. I was actually pretty pleased with it. Those photo packages cost a bundle, it was great to clean up the obvious stuff. This year, however, for just ANOTHER $6 (total of 12), I could choose Premium Retouching. My daughter's teeth would be whitened, skin tone evened, blemishes erased and stray hairs would be rubbed out.

This is AIR BRUSHING people!!! They are AIR BRUSHING our children!!!

And that's not the worst part. The worst part was that I actually had to think about this decision. While completely morally opposed to the idea in theory, was I going to sacrifice my daughter in the name of my principles? Her picture will be stacked up in the yearbook next to perfectly finished photos of her classmates. They are ALL supposed to look dorky and awkward. Now they'll all look like Disney produced the yearbook.

Since I'm sure you're wondering, I took the middle road. I'm a "middle road" kind of girl. Regular retouching so there are no zits blazing out of her face, but no air brushing. Hopefully she'll thank me some day.

I'm guessing that day will not be the one when the yearbook comes out.

Confessions of a sloppy homemaker

2009-08-23T11:16:00.003-04:00

I am a slob. For years I have tried to pretend I am not.

It's not that I enjoy squalor. Truly, I love a clean house - it makes me very happy. Cluttered spaces cloud my mind - clean spaces open it up. Even more than that, it pains me that my house is almost never "spontaneous visit ready". One of my favorite things about my mom is that she always made her home the hub of activity and friends were always welcome. I feel the same, but my house is often so in a shambles that I hesitate to throw the doors open.

And I'm not just bad at clutter. I am delinquent in the cleaning aspect too. My home is a haven for dust bunnies, my bathroom always goes at least a day or two (or more!) longer than it should before I clean it, and when I say you could eat off my floors - it is not because they are sanitary.

I'm told I come by this honestly. My mother was never an excellent housekeeper. My grandmother used to push the dirty dishes back on the table to do her weekly baking. This is a little comforting. Not much, but a little.

So, if I like clean spaces why don't I make more of an effort to keep my house better? I'm ridiculously anal about my schedules, why can't I just "pencil it in" to my weeks? Heck - I could even give house cleaning it's own color on my calendar!

Because it is low, low, LOW on my priority list. There are so many other things that are either more pressing or, frankly, more fun. Dishes get done routinely, laundry can never be fully ignored, so it's not like I'm not doing ANYTHING in the house. But given the choice between washing floors or tidying the always cluttered dining room table - and an afternoon at the pool with my kids or an evening out with my friends? Hmmmmm...... Sorry, I'm not disciplined enough to Just Say No.

Also, I have 4 other bodies in the house helping to clutter and dirty. 3 of those other bodies are even less inclined to notice a dirty house than I am. I am slowly, finally trying to get them into a routine of chores that will lessen my load a little. It is an uphill battle

I live by a motto that I would rather have time with my kids than a clean house right now and that someday my house can always be clean because those 3 dirt-ignorant bodies will no longer be in residence. I know there are flaws with this logic. First, I have many friends who spend loads of times with their kids and still find time to keep a clean house. Second, I know myself well enough to know I will probably find more things to do when the kids grow up and the only difference may be the lack of Legos underfoot.

But a girl can dream!

Anyhooooo..... That's my confession. Now you know. If you stop by unannounced (and I hope you do!), you are forewarned. Now off to laundry, gardening, dust bunny control, etc!

Channeling my inner beach

2009-08-17T23:08:00.006-04:00

On the eve of what promises to be the worst Walk-In Tuesday in some time (crap - I really should be sleeping right now!), I am trying to "channel my inner beach".

What the hell are you talking about Kim?

I am trying to reconnect with the utter serenity that was my world just 240 short hours ago. I returned home from Bear Lake this year so completely relaxed, I was practically comatose. The heat that kicked in the day after returning home made me a bit cranky and irritable - but it was a relaxed irritable!

Hmmm....what exactly was so soothing and soul nourishing? The nightly cards games were great - Oh Darn the first week and BS the second (please let my kids not share the real source of that acronym when they return to school soon). The night beach fires were festive, with s'mores and glow sticks. Drinks were aplenty - keg beer and slushy "girlie" drinks during the day and red wine or "Bear Lake Stingers" at night. (Now getting "stung"? Not so relaxing)

I'd have to say, as much as I enjoyed all of that, it was the reading that really brought me to that peaceful, laid back place. I read 4 1/2 books over the two weeks, including a re-read of one favorite, a "fun" read that brought me back to middle school, and two excellent books that came highly recommended, and rightly so.

I kicked off the first week with The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon. At 487 pages, translated from spanish, it wasn't what I would normally consider a "beach read". It garnered high praise from Kate & Ron Bernas - two whose opinions I trust, so I dove in. Rich in description, containing every element I could hope for from a novel - fascinating history, intrigue, tragedy, love story, great metaphor and even seemingly mystical elements - I was hooked. This book is a must read, particularly for people who love books and all they offer. My one and only problem with it? It has intimidated me. I don't think I could ever live up to that level of writing.

After that spellbinder, I definitely needed some levity. John, ever the thoughtful husband, overheard me talking about The Official Preppy Handbook by Lisa Birnbach with some friends. He managed to find a copy for me and presented it to me just before our trip. It was delightful and somewhat hilarious to re-read the "bible" from my middle school days. The most hilarious part about it? I don't think we actually ever got the satire when we were 13. Yikes!

Back to something more "meaty", I took a tip from my sister-in-law, Holly, who has also suggested several fantastic title to me. One of her favorites (and now one of mine) - People of the Book by Geraldine Brooks. At this point, I believe books about books was officially my Bear Lake reading theme. This tale, however, centers on a very special and particular book and weaves tragic and poignant historic tales through the fabric of a significant modern story. Again, I cannot recommend this book highly enough.

Next, in anticipation of the movie debut I re-read The Time Travelers Wife by Audrey Niffeneger. One of my absolute, top, favorite stories of all time, I truly lose myself in this story. I read the book 3 years ago at Bear Lake and distinctly remember the feeling of discombobulation every time I was forced to close the book and refocus on real life. The re-read was equally satisfying and I'm glad I took the time to do it, although I don't anticipate much from the movie. At least I like Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams. That will just have to do.

I finished out the second week with Craig Ferguson's Between the Bridge and the River. For anyone who follows late night television, Craig Ferguson hosts the "later" show after David Letterman on CBS. He's scottish and I find him very funny. John actually stumbled on his show and DVR's it all the time. It is a little odd watching it in the middle of the day, what with all the psedo child-porn 900 number commercial breaks, but never fails to make me laugh out loud at some point. I have read half of the book so far and I am enjoying it. He entertains as well on paper, if not better. Were I beachside, the book would be long finished, but sadly life interrupts.

Life? Like Walk-In Tuesdays? Good god - what am I still doing up at near midnight? That's all for now..... Night!

.....And we're back!

2009-08-10T23:23:00.003-04:00

I realize I have been remiss in posting. For once I have a legitimate reason instead of convenient justifications.

For the past two weeks we have been enjoying my Eden. Each year we rent the simplest of cottages on a small lake in the Northern Lower Peninsula of Michigan.

The cottages are extremely basic - cinder block walls, cement or linoleum floors, flea market furniture. And don't even get me started on the mattresses. Sounds awful, right?

Well, the lack of luxury means I don't have to run after my kids and clean constantly. A simple sweep daily, a few dishes and I'm done.

But that's not even what makes it heavenly to me. To step out our door is to step directly onto the beach. The beach borders waters that have exactly the right amount of "swimmable" lake for my kids. No tricky extended sand bars for me to have to fret over how deep the kids are. Gradual slope and then 20 foot drop off clearly marked with midnight blue water.

For 14 glorious days I recline in festively painted Adirondack chairs, moving the sand between my toes, reading voraciously, pausing to forage through the shameful amount of food we bring or drag an icy beer from the keg my husband set up in our fridge (brilliant!).

My kids are finally of the age where they can (mostly) fend for themselves - there is plenty for them to do, they are good swimmers, they are old enough to get their own food and drinks. That doesn't mean I ignore them - but our interactions are, for the most part, by choice and full of fun.

Paradise gets old for John and Owen quickly but my girls take after me in maximizing every beach moment possible. When the boys get fidgety, we raise our heads lazily off our raft/chair/beach blanket and wish them the best on their daily adventure.

But we're back now. Back to messy house and meal planning. Back to calendars and schedules. Back to work and traffic.

I definitely have more to say about Bear Lake and our two weeks. Beyond being delightful they were also inspirational and have given me some writing ideas. For now, however, it is a small miracle that I am still awake and I need to head to bed so I can spend the next 6 1/2 hours confused about whether I am home or still at the cottage when I wake briefly from time to time.

And the Winner is.....

2009-07-19T11:25:00.005-04:00

......the Hyudai Entourage!!

As usual my husband came through at the bitter end against all hope. Not only found a great car but also an amazing deal. Really, when will I ever learn that my badgering, bullying and doubting him completely is generally all for naught?

Automobile Purchase

2009-07-18T01:14:00.008-04:00

The car buying experience - this conjures up an image for nearly everyone I know beyond the age of 22 or so, some even younger. The image ranges from positive to intimidating to downright terrifying.

Hilarious? Not generally associated with the experience to my knowledge.

But that would be for the rest of you AMATEURS who DON'T have to purchase a vehicle in conjunction with my husband.

Here is the rundown:

First, we must spend a day claiming that we don't actually need a car. Well, duh. For the man who walks across the street to work and only has to drive a child to an event when he is told to and provided with a car, this is obvious. Of course!

Check.

Second, we must research every ridiculous car that exists. 1984 conversion van with electric blue interior, 1995 cargo van with 187,000 miles, amazing car with low mileage and price located in Oklahoma.

Check.

Next we must embark on the auto visits. The first stop must be friendly but panic inducing. It will require 30 minutes of follow up driving with mild bickering before another stop can be made.

Check.

This is followed up with a visit to a second dealership. If you are truly lucky, it could possibly be within the same day. Models will be admired, an interior may even be looked at. Perhaps a conversation with a salesperson will take place without foot pursuit. Nothing will come of it.

Check.

Much driving should follow, accompanied by yelling and screaming, induced by frustration - but inappropriate and unfruitful nonetheless. If you are really "in character", of course the kids will be along for this ride.

Check.

The final stop of the evening may be more promising, but will not yield more success. The yelling and screaming will yield more conversation , but it may not be more useful. You will assume your partner is more motivated and is liking some of the models you are looking at, sitting in, test driving (for God's sake). But the result will be the same. You will smile, shake the salesperson's hand and promise to seriously consider/mull over/chew on/etc the figures discussed about the car.

Check.

Ultimately, you may end up three days from the time you turn in your previous lease vehicle with a lot of internet searching but no real options. Yep, that's us! Our lease is due Monday, July 2oth and we have nothing to show but an awesome Credit Union preapproval and some ideas (which, of course, differ sligtly)

If you know of any newer, lower mileaged cars out there - I would be thrilled to consider them. Minivan pretty necessary - I do have 3 kids with very distinct and differerent interests and obligations.

Ah well, it is already Saturday and I am CONVINCED this is the day! We will find a car. Check back and see what it is!

Looking back at Breast Cancer

2009-07-08T10:00:00.003-04:00

For many of you this will be review, but I was looking through my writing and it occurred to me that I have never posted anything about my breast cancer battle. It is significant to me and I felt compelled to post what I have written about it. Sorry for the length – hard to condense without losing important stuff!

My breast cancer was found by chance. I had noticed some blood tinged discharge from my left nipple but thought it was probably leftover from breast feeding. I mentioned it casually at my annual check-up in September 2002. My doctor felt it was probably nothing but decided to send me for my first mammogram anyway. I was only 33 years old. I had my mammogram in October 2002 and was sent directly in for an ultrasound. Believe it or not, there was NOTHING going on in my left breast (the one with the discharge). But the mammogram and then the ultrasound spotted a suspicious mass in my right breast!

I called my OB/GYN's office for my results from the ultrasound and was told that I had a mass that was probably just a cyst but that was large enough to require needle drainage. At the end of that phone call, I asked the OB/GYN nurse, "So, bottom line, this is not cancer?" She answered, "No, this is not cancer."

I had to get a referral for a surgeon from my primary care physician, so that was my next appointment in early November. My first question for him was, "Can you tell me what you see in the ultrasound that would rule out cancer in my case?" Looking very shocked he said, "Are we ruling out cancer?" and went on to explain why, although I had all kinds of factors in my favor leading to benign, the image he was seeing could not be definitively considered non-cancerous without a biopsy.

I had a surgical biopsy on November 20, 2002 and received my diagnosis on November 21st. Unfortunately, I was still so naive about the process and had gone to a general surgeon for my biopsy so I could get it done quicker. He was a good surgeon and a very nice man, but not very experienced with breast cancer. He laid out every single bit of information for me and my husband and tried very hard to be reassuring, even confiding to me that he had only one testicle and had never had any repercussions from that. Um….wow…..can you say TMI???? And also, by the way, not exactly reassuring, but thanks!

So, there I was, 33...married...with three children ages 5, 3 and nearly 1. My diagnosis was infiltrating ductal carcinoma. I also had some ductal carcinoma in situ.

First, I did some "shopping" and found a surgeon and oncologist who specialized in breast cancer and worked out of a nationally recognized cancer center. I was extremely fortunate to do this “shopping” with an excellent team: my husband and my aunt, who is a nurse. Besides the tremendous support, it was such a relief to have others who would write everything down so I could process in my own time and to ask the questions that I was often too overwhelmed to even consider. And, of course, there was the comedic angle to factor in – they were witnesses to some of the bizarre and ridiculous.

In January 2003 I had a modified radical mastectomy on my right side. In February I had a port inserted into my left arm (which was a drama in and of itself) and began a 4 month chemotherapy regimen. I lost all my hair, had bouts of nausea that made morning sickness seem like nothing, and battled with overwhelming fatigue. I took the summer off and had a TRAM flap reconstruction in September 2003. While I am delighted that I chose to do that, it proved to be more complicated than first imagined. The recovery was long and painful.

I don’t share all of this for pity. All in all, it was an amazing experience. While I wouldn’t have chosen it, I think I am a better person for it. It reinforced for me how amazing my family and circle of friends is. It humbled me as to the generosity of acquaintances and even strangers. It helped clarify my life priorities. And, of course, it gave me some pretty hilarious stories.

Tennis Lessons

2009-07-07T11:57:00.003-04:00

My youngest's new "life plan" (and yes, I AM quoting) has expanded to include tennis lessons.

For two weeks she asked me multiple times per day if/when I had registered her for the one hour lessons offered by our park on a weekly basis in the summer. In typical fashion, I put it off until the last paycheck possible. But finally I officially enrolled her for a week of tennis lessons, which started this past Monday.

Sunday morning she says to me, "I have outfits planned for Monday and Tuesday, but I will probably need some new tennis outfits for later in the week." She is 7.

Sunday afternoon she assures me, "Poppy says he has a racquet I can use for now, but if I really like it, we'll need to get me my own."

Sunday night she cried for a half hour about how nervous she was. Remember now, she badgered me for two weeks for this lesson.

This morning she asked me to sign her up for the other two weeks ahead before our vacation. "I love it, mom. I think by tomorrow I might be the best in my class. Yesterday I hit 2 over the net, but today I hit 10!"

7!!!! I'm just sayin.....

Marking Time with Tradition

2009-07-04T01:06:00.006-04:00

Happy 4th of July!

The 4th of July is one of our family's favorite holidays. Not because we are especially patriotic, but because of the tradition my parents started. Every July 4th, my parents host a Block Party.

The street is blocked off so the kids can bike, scooter, skateboard, etc to their hearts' content. Sometimes there is bike decorating and kids' games. Sometimes we just let them all loose with their vehicles, squirt guns and water balloons.

The adults sit in groups, the largest group under a tree in my parents' yard. We nosh on snacks and sip on margaritas or beer out of the keg. Dinner is hot dogs and chips for the kids and pot luck for the adults. At some point sparklers make an appearance. Fireworks used to be part of the evening, but were discontinued when more people on the block were uncomfortable with them than were asking for them. We usually have plenty to enjoy from the blocks around us, with none of the risk.

My kids, in particular, have enjoyed and counted on this event for years.

I may have mentioned this before, but my rapidly passing birthdays have not really succeeded in making me feel old. I know 40 is supposed to officially put my youth to rest. But my chronological age is just not doing it.

Oh, I'm NOT saying I'm not feeling old. It's just not MY age doing it.

What IS marking the years for me is watching my kids "age up" and the changes in the way they enjoy the various traditions our family has.

In many, many ways, they are so much easier. The amount of gear we have to bring is enormously reduced. They can pitch in and help out rather than be a distraction. They spend much of the day finding their own fun, rather than constantly relying on our presence.

But in some ways they are more difficult. The older two are starting to be a little less fascinated by the day's activities. That tween/teen ennui is creeping in. I'm fairly certain the day will be punctuated with at least a few "I'm bored" and dramatically rolled eyes at something that is just "too stupid".

It's bittersweet. And, of course, aging. But I take comfort in knowing that my siblings and I went through it too. And we all came back around to loving this event again. Plus I know that all three of my kids count on the celebration no matter what they say or do to the contrary.

So I will raise a sparkler and ooh and ah (and that will guarantee an eye roll)!

Summer Weekend to Savor

2009-06-29T01:11:00.004-04:00

Ahhhhh..... the perfect bliss of this late June weekend. Yes, it was hectic. Yes, as usual, we had too many places to be and things to do. However, somehow, it managed to encompass all the best elements of summer. (Ok, all the best elements short of "cottage life" at Bear Lake - come back in August to read about that.)

Friday evening we stayed home and watched my cousin's kids while they went to a wedding. Everyone was in fine form and drawn to outside play. A few extra neighbor kids joined in and we achieved that perfect level of total chaos. While six children aged seven and under ran around shrieking, playing tag and hide-n-go-seek, we sat on the porch with neighbors and solved the problems of the world. Or perhaps just Lakepointe.

Saturday dawned --- and yes, pretty much we all practically saw dawn, or so it felt --- with both a swim meet and a softball tournament on the horizon. John took my oldest to her tournament, complete with coffee, a book, folding chair, and a mini cooler fool of string cheese to share. The younger two and I hopped on bikes and headed down to the swim meet at our park. While they agonized over which strokes to swim, I chatted with some of my favorite fellow parents and cheered them along. My youngest daughter swam competent (if not super speedy) 25 Free and 25 Breast. My son inched his way nearer to a dive to replace his signature belly flop start.

I spent time in the garden, weeding Saturday and a little planting Sunday. I sorely neglected my garden the past two years, so I can only face a patch at a time in my quest to take it back. Ok, I'm exaggerating, I can really only face about 6 feet of garden at a time. By Fall, I should have it right where I want it. And then it will all die.

I "slept in" Sunday until 8:30am. Am I the only one who finds that annoying when people tell me they "slept in" until anything before 10am. I know many of you are super overachievers, amazing early birds who save the world before 7:30am (or at least manage a work out, healthy breakfast, load of laundry and possibly dinner prep - same thing as world saving in my book) But, people, SLEEPING IN is only legit if it's 10am or later. Anything earlier is just being human like the rest of us.

But I digress....

While I indulged in an extra hour and a half of sleep Sunday morning, John and my son snuck out to fish for a couple of hours. They returned just in time for all of us to pack into the minivan and head back to the softball fields for single-eliminination tournament play. I won't bore you with the play by play, but the day was packed with all kinds of play - great hits, pitiful strikeouts, amazing catches, poorly executed plays, everything under the sun. Our team showed fantastic perseverence. We won our first game and went on to a second (unexpected by me). We threatened making it to the Championship game (which would have meant 10 hours on the field for the day, 21 hours for the weekend) Sadly we lost. Not in any sort of spectacular way, just in a hard fought but outplayed kind of way.

The truly delicious part of the weekend was in the finale of it, however. As we debated heading to a local fireworks show with our enormously tired and cranky kids in tow, we received a call from friends of ours to join them at their parents lakeside home for a bonfire and our own personal fireworks show. We eagerly accepted.

The company was enormously fun. The fireworks were enormously illegal. The chaos was enormously --- well ---- chaotic. In the roots of that chaos my favorite moments were born and they were absolutely the essence of Summer.

My youngest begged us to let her jump into the lake in her clothes with the other kids (and a life jacket) of course. Seems pretty mundane for most of you, I'm sure. But my older two are (over)cautious in nature and I love to encourage they youngest's edginess and bravado in a positive way. As predicted she balked at the seaweed at first. And then we had to force her out of the water eventually because everyone else was done.

My son lit his first firework. Again, probably something that seems run of the mill (or possibly horrifying, depending on your perspective). But he is one of the aforementioned (over)cautious ones. It was an exciting big step and made him "one of the boys".

And seriously, just to hear the carefree joyful laughter at the fun and fesitivities from my oldest when she had been brooding just an hour earlier about her hitting slump, made the evening more than worth the price of admission (a bottle of wine and two lawn chairs, if you're curious).

As if that were not all enough, I am thrilled to be heading to bed (too late, of course) with my hair smelling of the heady bonfire scent and the heat of a little too much sun on my skin. Monday doesn't look quite as daunting as usual.

Pondering the Dangers of Assumptions

2009-06-24T12:00:00.003-04:00

If I have learned nothing in this past week, I have learned that I should never assume I really know other people or their circumstances.

The lurid details (and rumors) plastered over the "newswaves" about our local men's hockey coach are all the more disturbing because he was among us. The hindsight I am hearing from people - "I always thought he was odd..." "He gave me the creeps from the first time I met him..." - is only that. Hindsight. However real these feelings may have been, they weren't enough to raise the red flags that it is easy NOW to see were so clearly warranted.

While I was not acquainted with the man, some of my family and friends were. And they are completely stunned. I would never, in a million years, call these people naive. Or suggest that they should have spoken up. By all accounts, everyone closest to him is blown out of the water. No matter how many "smoking guns" FOX 2 drags out (how convenient, NOW), nobody who spent time with him on a regular basis saw even a suggestion of what he been accused. He kept it deeply hidden.

In the midst of reeling over this, we learned of a fellow parent who died suddenly. He was a sweet, funny man who clearly adored his three lovely daughters. He spent loads of time with them, really seemed in touch with them and they obviously doted on him. I enjoyed running into him at school functions and soccer games. He always had a kind word about your kids and asked after you in a manner that showed he was interested in your answer.

His smiling face hid a private struggle as well. Nothing at all like the coach - NOT AT ALL. But he had demons that nobody who met him on the street would guess at. I certainly never would have guessed he was anything but completely happy-go-lucky.

Even before all of this I have been on a mission to help my kids see that everyone they come in contact with has a "back story". Whether it is the circumstances of their life or the conversation they had just prior to seeing you, the background carries over and matters. I stress to them that the only thing they should assume is that everyone has a reason for behaving the way they do - good or bad. That we should all try not to take negative encounters personally, because we never know what preceded them.

Savor the good, forgive the bad as much as possible and always, always listen to your instincts. If I can get that across to them, then my work here is done!

Parenting with "calculated carelessness"

2009-06-23T10:28:00.004-04:00

A colleague of mine shared a link on Facebook that was dead on in reflecting the schizophrenia I feel sometimes in raising my kids.

http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=93957764194&h=5Wp56&u=3V2Qh&ref=nf

If you view the comments that follow, a reader comments about a friend of hers who parents with "calculated carelessness". To quote ruralduke: "My friend says that he brings up his children with "caculated carelessness." He explains that he cannot stop them from riding bikes on the street, but that he see to it that the brakes are working properly."

I like this notion. It is a refreshing bit of sense in a parenting world that has many of us constantly questioning ourselves from both ends. Am I too lax? Do I overparent? These questions seem to punctuate nearly every one of my days at some point.

The link also refers to the following blog, which I am intrigued by and plan to start following on a more regular basis:

http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/

Any thoughts out there? What end of the spectrum do you tend to fall on? Or are you, like me, hamstrung right there in the middle, swaying to and fro?

Poppy's Work Camp

2009-06-18T08:48:00.002-04:00

Cheers to my father, now known as Poppy. For many, many, many reasons. Not the least of which is his willingness to take on my kids three days a week through the summer, saving me untold dollars in babysitting money.

I believe he is actually making out on the deal currently though. Through slave labor. My husband shared with me this morning that the youngest two were lamenting about the "work camp" Poppy is running.

For instance:

"We're not allowed to have breakfast until we do certain jobs"
"Breakfast was just one yogurt"
"He doesn't let us have ANY breaks"

Now I know for a fact that he picks them up from the park (swim practice) and gives them at least a half hour of down time, in which he generally cooks them either scrambled eggs or an omelet. I also know he gives them jobs to do, mostly gardening to date, for a couple hours. Then they generally have a couple more hours of complete vegging - TV, computer, video games, etc. So I find this pretty funny.

My dad keeps announcing his intention to work these kids defensively, like I'm going to protest. Oh, heck no! I'm so on board. As a matter of fact, my goal is to keep Work Camp going on the days they are home.

So, cheers to Poppy! I'm thrilled that they are not on their butts for 6-7 hours a day and I'm delighted that he is getting some help out of the deal. Keep working them!

In Defense of our Color Coded Calendar

2009-06-17T12:23:00.004-04:00

For years I have endured ribbing, rolled eyes, raised eyebrows about how hectic the Clexton family schedule is. And that is all just from my husband!

If you have spent any time in my kitchen, you have seen the evidence via the calendar on our fridge - complete with color coding for each family member (and I found an online color codable one I can access anywhere - BLISS - at cozicentral.cozi.com) It is the only way to make sure everyone gets to where they need to be and then returns home, without incident, in my book. I need the visual layout to help me navigate conflicts - and trust me, there are definitely conflicts! Four out of five of us have multiple involvements outside of school and work.

As much as possible I try to handle both figuring out the schedule and doing as much of the transporting as possible (see my earlier BLOG about logistics). If I have to call in help or car pool, I am usually the one to do this. I operate on the theory - the less hassle it is to others, the less hassle I will get! This is why they call it a theory - reality is, of course, completely the opposite.

So I submit to my critics the following Washington Post article - http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/09/27/AR2008092702644.html

Salve for those of us who are so "done" with the snide Super Mommy remarks and the covert guilt that we are piling on too much for our kids!

Mad Mommy? Or Mean Mommy? You Decide....

2009-06-11T16:45:00.002-04:00

School has officially been out for my kids for a little over 5 hours and already I am "Mean Mom". Phew! That must be some kind of record.

Why - you ask? Because I am making them go to swim practice today.

Even though it is pouring rain (you swim in water, right?)..................

Even though they already went twice this week (um, practice is actually all 5 days)...........

And yes, GOD FORBID, even though it is the first day of summer vacation..........

Does "I hate you" and "You are mean" signal that I am officially doing my job?

Honorary Degree in Logistics....

2009-06-08T12:15:00.002-04:00

....I'm waiting for mine.

It has been my premise for some time that any parent with two or more children who participate in extracurricular activities (or one child in 3 or more activities), should automatically be awarded an honorary degree in logistics.

For instance, at any given time my oldest might be playing softball (travel, naturally!), volleyball and/or swimming. At one point this past Winter into Spring - she had all three going on. My son is my "easy" one - with only Drama and swimming. The youngest was in gymnastics, jazz, ballet and Daisies this past year. She has a new "life plan" and will "only" be in swimming, Irish Dance and Brownies this upcoming year.

And those of you who know me well are hopefully mentally noting that I am not facing this schedule in a vaccum - OF COURSE I have my own things going on - PTO, Book Club, etc. Not to mention, my "real job".

Now, this is all afterschool and on weekends. Often either simultaneously or, worse, at precariously staggered times in opposite ends of the city. Dinner time? Surely you jest. Does it count as "seated for family dinner" every night if we are all sitting in the same car for 10 minutes noshing?

I've never felt I am particularly talented. I'm not at all artistic, don't have a flair for decorating, not very adept at housecleaning, pretty average cook, smart - but not brilliant or even all that witty.

Family logistics is my one superpower, I think. Keeping all the proverbial balls in the air (read - getting everyone where they need to be) is something I am pretty good at. I can't say I do it alone - I certainly have my "village"! But I count figuring out where I need help as part of my skill. I found a great tool to replace my endless bulky catalogs - cozicentral.cozi.com - through the Parents magazine website. An online color-codable calendar - NIRVANA!!!!

I figure at this point, not only do I deserve the Logistics degree, but it should be summa cum laude and coming from a fairly prestigiuos University.

So, I'll be waiting.... Probably in a minivan similar to the above.... Possibly checking my Blackberry for the next stop.... Perhaps munching on a granola bar to tide me over.....

But waiting nonetheless!

My Little Shopper

2009-06-05T11:50:00.003-04:00

Last night I hosted a Butterfly Boutique (jewelry, purses, scarves, etc) at my mom's house for a handful of family and girlfriends. My daughters ended up at the house, along with our friend, Em.

Not surprisingly, we adult "girls" gushed over the products, modeling and taking turns in front of the mirror.

Somewhat surprisingly, my 13 year old glanced about a bit and then headed outside to play. She later came in and looked more carefully at a few things, but wasn't "over the top" enthusiastic.

Very surprisingly (ok, this is a little laughable for those of you who know Natalie.), my 7 year old was DEFINITELY enthusiastic! First she was my shadow - insinuating herself right into the circle of women at my side. Then she abandoned me to shadow the Butterfly rep, chattering relentlessly about all of the things she wanted from the product line. This savvy and kind lady redirected some of her energies with small tasks, but it did not slow down her commentary. She completely rejected the notion of playing outside with the older girls - way too much fun inside!

Her benevolent (sucker?) Nana purchased a trinket for her and for her sister, saving me the agony. But her dedication and persistence have me wondering if she should just start direct sales for them now. She'll need the consultant discount to pay for all the things she wants.

Lord, are we in trouble!

Six more mornings....

2009-06-03T12:29:00.002-04:00

....until school is out! And the sixth one doesn't really count because there are no backpacks and no lunches involved. Hallelujah!

I am NOT a morning person. I am pleasant enough. I just resist waking up and getting up with every fiber of my being. Once upright I'm fine. But that resistance thing slows me down so I am always running late, always pushing the clock, always behind.

Of course, that means my children are also. Poor things. Because, while I can be very effective, even in my tardiness....they are less so. They don't deserve the drama that is inevitible.

I should resolve to wake earlier and fix this situation. It hardly seems worth it for six mornings.

Maybe in September?

Finally found my way back....

2009-06-02T23:17:00.002-04:00

Even the nagging of my wonderful and encouraging sister somehow did not inspire me to make this BLOG a priority. Yet here I am again - like a bad penny!

I owe this latest motivation to a good friend's husband who writes a great BLOG - definitely worth checking out - Old Wahoo. He is a journalist/dad who shares great personal stories, musings, links, resources, etc. Often regarding parenting but sometimes just random. Always well written and entertaining.

Also generally very simple. Hence the inspiration.

I think I started out trying to hard at this. The point was to exercise regular writing. I quickly pressured myself to strive to be either constantly witty or, failing that, visually entertaining. As hilarious as I find my life at times, it is simply not possible to post consistently and always be dazzling. Therefore, I psyched myself out.

Old Wahoo showed me that posts can be short and simple sometime and still be interesting. So, I'm back to posting, hopefully more often. I will try not to be completely boring but I won't promise "jazz hands" with every post. Hope some of my friends find their way back here!

So much for resolutions...

2008-03-16T12:14:00.006-04:00

And to think I was dismayed before about a month passing without a blog! I'm embarrassed to calculate the time from my last entry until now. Oh well, my new resolution is to do what I can and just not worry about it. Come to think of it, that is my new resolution in general!

We are having a nice weekend here in GP. The chill is off and the sun is out just enough to hint at spring. Sending the kids outside does not require half and hour of finding and putting on gear. Also, we had a pretty open weekend for a change. Not completely open - I don't think that's even possible for us. But open enough to enjoy wide expanses of unplanned time. Heavenly really, even if the time is not used as efficiently as I dream it could be.

Saturday morning we were at a Middle School swim meet. Our middle schools have never had their own swim teams. The high schools do and there are year-round swim clubs that utilize the system's pools, but never an opportunity to swim for the middle school itself. A motivated and energetic member of the high school boys' swim team changed all of that this year and inspired a new swim league. My daughter is really enjoying swimming for her school. And every new experience teaches her new things about strokes, conditioning, stretching.

We are now calling her Jaws, thanks to a friend's father. I'm sure the pictures above give you a clue to why.

My Four Year, Three Day Journey

2007-10-11T14:10:00.000-04:00

By this time you are probably wondering why I bothered to set up a BLOG in the first place. Why on earth is so much time lapsing between posts? What could I possibly be doing that doesn't afford me a few minutes to jot down my thoughts?

Well, I've already ranted and raved about our schedules, so you know that is a factor. More importantly, however, I was preparing and then walking in my third Breast Cancer 3Day!

About 5 1/2 years ago, just after my third child was born, a very good friend of mine walked in the 2002 Avon Breast Cancer 3 Day and told me all about it. It sounded wonderful, both for the charitable and the health benefits (think post-pregnancy), but I still wasn't getting much sleep with a newborn around.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer just six months after that Walk, in November of 2002.

A year later I had been through a mastectomy, four months of chemotherapy and a TRAM flap reconstruction surgery. I was still chugging Vicodin when I got the e-mail from the same friend telling me about the 2004 Breast Cancer 3Day. She was walking again. Was I interested in donating?

I called her and asked if she would mind if I walked with her. I raised over $4000, walked 60 miles in 3 days in August 2004, promptly lost five of my ten toenails and have never looked back!

In 2005, another girlfriend and I formed Chicks for a Cure to fund raise as a team and potentially recruit more walkers. We ended up with 13 team members - 10 walkers and 3 crew members and we raised over $33,000! We had a lot of fun, even though the weekend was one of the most challenging, weather wise, of all the 3Days. This time my toenails remained intact.

My sister was married in 2006 and, naturally, the 3Day in my home state was scheduled for the weekend before her wedding. It was a very difficult decision and I know my sister would have supported me if I had chosen to do it. But, as Matron of Honor I really felt it would be irresponsible to risk my feet so close to the wedding.

After a year's hiatus I was very eager for the 2007 3Day. This year, instead of in the heat of summer, the walk was scheduled for the fall. While I was delighted that it probably meant less heat (who could have predicted 90's in October?), I was terrified about rain. Rain was my nemesis in 2004, causing a majority of my blisters.

Along the way to the 2007 3Day, I resurrected Chicks for a Cure. To my dismay, the only former teammates I could lure back were Crew (okay, one walker, but she went to Crew). Six new, wonderful women joined on to walk, however. And having five Crew Members as "Chicks" - looking out for us and performing random acts of kindness specifically for us - was a lovely security net as well.

The 2007 Chicks for a Cure totalled 12 and raised just short of $29,000!

The 2008 dates for the Walk have been announced and Chicks for a Cure will be back. Beware your e-mail inbox - I am looking for new CHICKS!!!!!

School is in Session

2007-09-14T09:25:00.000-04:00

Back to School for our schools started last Wednesday. All three kids are now officially in public schools: my oldest in 6th grade (middle school!), my son in 3rd grade and my youngest in Kindergarten.

My husband and I have made living in this school system a priority, even when it may not have made a great deal of sense for us, monetarily. I cannot express adequately how happy I am that we clung to that. In particular, our experience at my children's current elementary school has been phenomenal.

This is my old elementary school, at least for my final three years at the elementary level. For that reason, I have my own sentimental fondness for it. But the current teaching and administrative staff is excellent to the degree that they are even noteworthy within the school system which itself has an terrific reputation. I am not giving lip service when I say that I never worry about which teacher assignment my kids get because there is not a mediocre choice in the bunch. Even the "specials" teachers are amazing, without exception.

My son's teacher has four sons herself. As one of my friends said, "She will not only tolerate his ramblings about animals and cars and whatnot, she will probably look forward to it." My son has been particularly blessed with perfect matches in teachers with the exception of a rough first traditional Kindergarten year.

My youngest's teacher turned everything around for my son when he went to all-day Kindergarten. She is dynamic and clever and yet extremely laid back. I have never witnessed anything but supreme calm from her, even at the most hectic moments. And I have accompanied her on a zoo field trip and been in the classroom for holiday parties! My daughter is already raving about how much fun she is having in Kindergarten.

My middle-schooler (ugh, still not ready to say that) reports good things about all of her teachers - she likes all of them so far. I look forward to meeting them at Back to School night.

Ah, the year is rolling. And all of us along with it!

Late Birthday Post

2007-09-08T12:02:00.000-04:00

I am so overdue to post. I warned all of you that I wasn't ready for Fall!

This past Monday, September 3rd was my son's 9th Birthday. I can't believe my little boy is only a year away from double digits. He is such a big guy in body and for some time in words as well. Anyone who spends time with our family has been on the receiving end of one of my son's "isms" at least once.

But I have a hard time picturing him as much more than 4 or 5. I'm sure Poppy will enjoy that as he is fond of telling me that I baby him too much. I'm sure I probably do. It seems to be a family trait.

He is asserting his independence in many ways. He has become much more responsible with his things (although he is overdue for a room cleaning right now). He is walking home from school by himself every day. And just yesterday he and I argued because he doesn't want me to walk he and Natalie his little sister up to school every morning. He is trying to convince me to simply drop them off and let him walk her to the Kindergarten line. As responsible as I know he would be about that, it is simply not going to happen - sorry son! I enjoy our mornings too much to give them up just yet.

Even though I am late with this post, the birthday is ongoing. We are fond of "neverending birthdays" around here. We had dinner and cake for him last Sunday. We brought a cake to a Labor Day party on Monday and sang to him. Today we are going to Build-a-Bear Workshop and out to dinner and tomorrow we will have yet more cake and singing at Nana's. Truly neverending!

So, raise a toast or sing a little Happy Birthday to our handsome young man!

Fall Already?

2007-08-30T09:16:00.001-04:00

Two days left until September.

Generally at this point I am a little tired of Summer, even though I know I will quickly miss the slower pace. I look forward to the crisp weather, the smells of cinnamon and burning wood, the fuller, richer tastes of more substantial food. I crave the organization and order the season demands in my household. This year, however, I am simply not ready for Fall!

Now curiously, I appear more ready. The school supplies are all purchased and ready to go. The calendar is quickly filling up with color-coded entries for each adult and child in our house. Enrollment forms for various sports and classes have been completed. I am taking stock of my cupboards and fridge and getting ready to fill it with breakfast standards, school lunch selections and quick dinner options. I am pulling dinner recipes that can be made ahead, slow-cooked, put together extremely quickly, or prepared by a teenage babysitter.

All those outward trappings hide the fact that I am not mentally ready for Fall.

I have not spent enough time at the pool, I have had far too few evenings trying to beat the heat sitting out on my front porch, I haven't eaten enough grilled food or salad. I know it will remain warm well into September and possibly even October. I know I can grill year-round if I like and a salad is always a better choice than some of the junk I eat.

But the atmosphere will be different. We will be on a schedule. We will have places to be, homework to do, bedtimes to make a priority. That is what I am truly not ready for - the high gear that Fall demands. Working for a university, we are already in high gear at work. I am barely meeting the energy and enthusiasm demands there. At home the pace is still slow, lazy and, most importantly, FLEXIBLE. Those days are numbered. I think we are down to 6.

So, this Labor Day weekend I will endeavor to gear myself up mentally for the onslought of Fall. I will organize my house, my calendar, my kids. I will marshall the energy required to keep all the balls in the air. I will stockpile enthusiasm to share when one or another of the kids or my husband gets overwhelmed or starts to drag.

I think maybe the term "super mom" was coined in the Fall.

Confession: I am a Groupie Wanna Be

2007-08-25T00:49:00.000-04:00

Back on New Year's Day of 2000, I left my Y2K stockpile of bottled water, batteries and canned food behind and joined my sister at a Barenaked Ladies concert at the Palace of Auburn Hills. I was 31 years old, had two children and had never before been crazy about a band. My generation dismally lacked bands with the life altering charisma of the Beatles or the Rolling Stones. You never see an Internet survey that asks whether you prefer Poison or The Cars.

That day, however, I fell head over heels for "The Ladies" who are, in fact, not ladies but most definitely men. And I didn't fall in love with any one of them, I fell for the whole kit and caboodle. I was so impressed by the charisma of their show. Perhaps I was just feeling down and dumpy, a stay-at-home mom with some packed on pounds from two kids. But those three hours inspired me.

I was inspired to love music again, beyond just the Top 40 drivel I had been listening to. I was inspired by the art these three otherwise ordinary men had created. To look at them, although I see them as quite handsome (every single one in their own way!), they are truly the kind of men you could run into every day. Yet their music is sublime. The tunes are fun, catchy, multi-layered. But what I most admire are their lyrics. Whether they are poignant or downright hilarious, they strike such a cord with me. I would even go out on a limb and say they inspired me to consider writing. While I had always felt intimidated, I saw this amazing group of 5 who had met (at least the founders) in high school and wrote in such an articulate and intelligent way, whether the lyrics spelled out humor or pathos. Not to mention the fact that these guys are married, are in the midst of having families (like me), and they play hockey (who can resist that?)

With the help of my husband (who was very gracious in indulging my collective crush) I amassed their CD's. He also pandered to my growing obsession by keeping careful track of their tour schedule and purchasing concert tickets consistently, whether for a special occassion or "just because". I can safely say I have rarely missed a BNL pass-through and have traveled to catch a concert. We have even dragged two of our children to Toronto for the express purpose of attending a BNL benefit concert at Ontario Place. It still reins as one of my favorite concerts (0k, 2nd the one where they lived up to half of their moniker, but that is a whole 'nother story, as they say).

It may seem frivilous to say they have been my life soundtrack, but in the last 7 years they truly have been. I listened to a variety of Barenaked Ladies CD's to distract me from the side effects of chemotherapy. I listened to their Greatest Hits CD to train for my first 3-Day Walk in 2004. "Everything to Everyone" was quite possibly my personal soundtrack while I trained for the 2005 3-Day. Their "Barenaked for the Holidays" is more of a standard in our house then "White Christmas". It has my kids fascinated with Hannukah.

I admire these guys. They are articulate and talented and socially conscious and involved. They are funny, VERY funny! Have I mentioned that intelligent humor (without pretention) drives me wild?

I am grateful to this group. They inspire me. They amuse me. Most of all, they show me that ordinary people may be the exterior for extraordinary talent. Perhaps there is hope for my writing.

So, am I a groupie? Well, I would say no. Just barely. I have all of the characteristics. Here is what holds me back: I am cheap. I cannot wait in line at the backstage door to stalk this group. Believe me, I would. Or at least I would be thrilled to meet them. But I generally have a "curfew" - a time my babysitter has to be home by, my kids should be in bed by, or just common courtesy for whatever family member might have felt sorry for me on this occassion.

So, my utmost compliments to my inspiration(s): the Barenaked Ladies. You are phenomenal and I can't wait until you roll through town again!

Letting Go

2007-08-20T19:54:00.000-04:00

It's so cliche, but it truly does feel like yesterday when my oldest daughter was the only baby around and everyone was completely fascinated with her every move, from giggles and gurgles to the first big steps. Of course, her dad and I were delighted with all she did. As the first child of her generation in our family, though, she was a source of entertainment for all - aunties, uncles, cousins and, naturally, her adoring grandparents. Could that really have been 11 years ago?

Now we are taking new steps of all kinds with her. As her last "elementary" summer winds down, we are gearing up for her to start Middle School. Almost as a symbol of her growing independence, this is the summer she asked to accompany a friend (and her family) on a week-long family trip. She is farther away from us than she has been since birth, eating their favorite family dishes, sleeping under a strange roof, taking part in someone else's traditions.

She was thrilled to be invited and I was (am) delighted for her. Her friend is a very sweet girl - funny, adorable, talented, athletic and, most of all, a nice girl with the same sort of value for friendship my daughter has. They are pictured together above, enjoying themselves as they usually do when they are together. Her family is equally nice and I trust them implicitly, not only with my daughter's safety, but with her happiness as well.

Still, it is an awkward week. I feel incomplete and a little out of my element. I am certainly enjoying increased time with my other two. But I can't help looking over my shoulder from time to time, expecting her to be there. I wait for her to sign into gmail so we can have one of our brief funny "chats" in the middle of the day.

I know this is just a taste of what is coming as she continues to spread her wings. And I am glad she has the confidence and poise to do this. But I would be lying if I didn't admit it is somewhat bittersweet. I would never rush this golden week for her, but I will be happy to see her home Saturday. I will feel my nest is full again, the way it still feels natural to me.

Happy 1st Anniversary!

2007-08-18T12:07:00.000-04:00

Hard to believe that it was only one year ago that we were stressing about the day's schedule and I was hiding from my sister the fact that the Best Man and another Groomsman were MIA.

Happy 1st Anniversary to my little sister and my brother-in-law! They are kind, loving, beautiful, intelligent, fascinating people individually and, together, they have the amazing quality of being both dynamic and down-to-earth at the same time. Naturally, their wedding was a blast from start to finish. One of the best parties I've been to in some time!

They live in DC, which is hard for all of us sometimes but has also had its benefits. We have all been able to visit that amazing city and see it as tourists and as semi-insiders. My kids are counting the days until they can take solo flights to visit their aunt and uncle. My oldest is hoping to go soon, while my son has targeted 10 years old as his "ready" date. My youngest would go now if I let her. Not a chance.

Speaking of youngest children, my sister is also the youngest in the family. Something about those youngest siblings, especially girls! Check out the picture of her on the altar with her brand new husband. Seems to me, except for the age, you could practically interchange my youngest with my baby sister between the picture in my last post with the altar picture. You could nearly interchange them in real life as well!

Have a wonderful, wonderful day you two! All of us who love you so much at home are thinking of you today and remembering what a lovely day we had last year.

Heard on a Busy Friday

2007-08-17T16:20:00.000-04:00

I should let my husband write this one, because it was his encounter. Every other Friday he has the day off because he works Saturday. So, he gets some true quality time with the kids without the distraction of Mom. Without my oldest daughter around, he was IMMERSED in the other two and apparently they were very, very chatty today. The youngest in particular.

For example:

My husband and daughter were each having a glass of lemonade and he offered, "Cheers!" My daughter came back with, "Cheers to God, because he gives us all the cool things." (We are very neglectful church-goers)

My daughter later offered markers to my husband and told him to pick his favorite color. He picked blue and told her it reminded him of the ocean. "Like the ocean in Jamaica on your date with Mom?" (Wow, no one can ever say I'm a cheap date!)

Or the one that I'm sure will prove to be my father's favorite -- "Dad, you need to finish one job before you start another." says the 5 year old. To which my husband asked, "Where did you get that line from?" She outright lied and said, "No one. I made it up myself."

In the interest of proper citation - thank you Poppy! Thanks to you my living room was completely cleaned by the time I got home from work.

Silly little ramblings coming out of a little mouth, but she lives large. The picture above says it all.

Little did I know how quickly this would come in handy...

2007-08-16T22:09:00.000-04:00

Tonight was a perfect example of why it is so important for me to get this stuff in written (is that what this is?) form. My oldest daughter leaves for a week away with her best friend tomorrow very early in the morning. She is spending the night at her house tonight. To give her a good send-off, my husband cooked a very tasty dinner and offered to treat everyone to Coldstone.

As we sat outside Coldstone wolfing down our "Signature Creations", I turned to my daughter and said, "I can't believe you are actually leaving for a week!"

She turned back and said, "I can't believe I'm leaving YOU for a week." (Have I mentioned she's a bit of a mama's girl?)

But the punchline came when my son added right on her heels, "I can't believe you're leaving for a week with $80." (Have I mentioned he's a bit materialistic?)

Inaugural Post

2007-08-16T09:39:00.000-04:00

At the ripe old age of 38 I am certain Alzheimer's is just around the corner. I have a terrible memory for conversations, details of encounters, etc. Give me a phone number to remember and I'm all over it, but my previous power of vivid recall has left me. And I stink at writing things down to preserve the memory of it. Friends and family are forever recalling my children's funny anecdotes that I have completely forgotten. Which is sad because I have three pretty hilarious kids! So, at the risk of your complete boredom, I have decided I need a mechanism to "get down" the details and anecdotes of my life. Welcome to my mechanism!